Wake Up.....!

And yet another blow to the pride of our secular nation! …. while previous wounds have still not healed, the nation is bleeding and weeping, afresh. However, this time the pain is not over the wounds of the past, but over the hot-off-the fire debasement which has lacerated the soul of the nation yet again. This outrage came in wake of a recent statement made by Master blaster Sachin Tendulkar, "Mumbai belongs to India. That is how I look at it. And I am a Maharashtrian and I am extremely proud of that but I am an Indian first". Mr. Thackeray saw this as an attempt to attenuate the image of Marathi “manoos”, which he had created some years ago to bulk up his vote bank. It sure has worked well for him, but in the bargain has created a rift between people of the same nation! A rift, created to satiate the false ego of a power hunger political sycophant.

Amitabh Bachchan to Sachin Tendulkar, all have borne the tongue-lashings of this man, who is a self-proclaimed protagonist of the interests of the Marathi “manoos”. Little does he realize that his whims and fancies are not only costing lives of hundreds of people but also creating bitterness amongst the various sections of people of this country.

Who on earth would interpret, that praises for India first and Maharashtra second would demean Maharashtra’s stature in the country? Only Bal Thackeray has such acumen and its quite unfortunate that he shares his acumen with the rest of the country garbed in his venomous speeches!

People of such mental make-up take undue liberty of being in a democratic country. Freedom of speech gets mocked at royally! With ageing body, Mr. Thackeray (Bal and Raj, both) seems to have forgotten that Maharashtra is a part of India and Indian citizens do not require a passport or a visa to live and work there. Contrary to the general sentiments of the Indians, the duo of Thackerays think that expression of love is ruining our culture; they believe that loyalty towards Maharashtra comes before loyalty towards India. Hold on! This isn’t it. They also firmly believe that every person in Maharashtra should carry out his/her business in Marathi language. Good Lord! Then why am I able to see his very own site (http://www.shivsena.org) displaying the usage of English language? May be, this is what is defined as “Hypocrisy” in the dictionaries.

It’s high time when such people put their head on shoulders and refrain from creating divide of any kind in India. Our country has had enough of hair-brained political games played on the behest of religion and caste. If we, the common man of India, do not rise and wake up to this call, then we would have no one to blame for the innumerable sufferings in the future. Of course media has to work hand-in-glove with the common man, by not giving extra mileage to inflammatory opinions of such people.

The time has come and the time is now! Either we shut our ears towards the strategic “divide and rule” sermons of such power hungry goondas (calling them politicians would be a misnomer) or we gear ourselves for ripping our country into 28 smaller pieces. The choice is ours.

..And the award goes to...

"Nationality is simply an accident of birth"

Before you even start to debate with me, let me inform you that these are not my words, for certain. These are the words of current Nobel Laureate in Chemistry, Dr. Venkatraman Ramakrishnan.True doc! (Courtesy: IBNLive)

A child who is yet to be born has, in no way, the privilege of choosing his/her country of birth, just like he/she cannot choose his/her parents. But does that demean the relationship between the child and the parent? I can blindly vouch for the answer to be a big NO.

Innumerable (undesirable) phone calls, plethora of (impeding) e-mails, plenty of time (whiled away)! So much for a humble achievement of winning a Nobel Prize, not fair..right ?

We can categorically understand the predicament that you have been subjected to face Dr. Venkatraman, in terms of jammed mailboxes and hours of time being frittered away in clearing that jam. After all it was your hard work for twenty years, which has now been felicitated by the Nobel Prize. Time is money as they say.

The whole nation boogied together reveling in news of YOU winning a Nobel Prize, floating around all day. On the face of it, for this country's layman, you are an Indian; still! How silly of them to not have known that now you are a citizen of some other country and your relationship with India is merely by virtue of birth. After all you couldn't have controlled your country of birth. Right doc ?

The impulsive urge in the Indians to contact you, to wish you over this magnanimous accomplishment and to express their delight over it was definitely not a practical gesture. Ironically, not more than a handful of them would even be aware of the significance of your work. After all, what benefit could they reap in wishing someone who is geographically millions of miles separated from them and shares nothing but his country of birth with them (which incidentally is not a matter of choice but a matter of sheer accident) ? I am still trying to find an answer for it. Maybe, you could help me solving this maze, doc. The fact that the people of India are genuinly happy over your achievement and expect nothing, but to share it with you, is of little consequence, I guess.

Silly, emotional, Indians!

But, these emotions are costing you time doctor, and you certainly cannot afford to do with it. It was time and science that have aided you in this journey so what possible additional abet these emotions could be to you? Did you say None, doc?!?!? While you are right in pointing out that your achievement has nothing to do with nationalities, the coldness in your interview replies towards India might not go down well with the people of India.

We are as much proud of you doctor, as much we are of Dr. APJ Kalam or Sachin Tendulkar, or Rabindranath Tagore. Trust me when I say that we know that their success not was anything because of their countrymen's gestures but due to their individual perseverance.

Our tribute is not to share a space in your success, but to render the support of millions, who recognize you as one among them!

Though we as a nation are yet to learn “how much is too much” funda, but our enthusiasm should not be construed as encumbrance by you sir. Alternatively, a polite reply by you to such adulations would have served the purpose and helped in toning down the unquantifiable phone calls and e-mails. Maybe there is something for both of us to learn from this incident. As is known, it’s never too late to learn…both, you and we as a country could learn to appreciate small but cardinal things in life.

Nevertheless, you still deserve a big Congratulation, Dr. Venkatraman Ramakrishnan. Hope your endeavors transcend the boundaries of nations and benefit the entire human race.

Oh, by the way, wish a very Happy Diwali to you doctor and to all my wonderful wonderful people of this country. Dress up well, eat good and remember to keep your environment clean.. Do not light crackers :)

Knee Slapper : Glad that it wasn't a Nobel PEACE Prize...else there would have been thunderbolts over the PEACE prize...what say doc ;)

Sex & "The" Cricket!

Yes, you’ve read it correctly. This is not a typo.
Hats off to you Mr. Kirsten! You’ve just made playing cricket more interesting for our players.

Mr. Kirsten seems to be agreeing to this message on the t-shirt in toto.....infact he believes that sex and cricket share a parity and complement each other. Wondering why?

By the way, for those of you, who are wondering about who this Mr. Kristen is and how is he related to cricket, Good news….Good news - He is the present head coach of our Indian cricket team.

With India’s recent success in the Compaq Cup 2009 series, there were few action points for our men in blue to work upon. Of course, most of these were suggested by our coach! But what caught the fancy of the entire nation was this particular suggestion of Kirsten to players.

Have good sex for enhanced performance on the cricket fields.....!!!!!!

While this comment has created frenzy across the length and breadth of the country for its titillating nature, it comes at a time when our team is working towards cementing its number one position in the ICC ODI ranking, having already secured it.

What amuses me is the way this suggestion has been made a part of the action points for the team. It’s been prescribed like a medicine dose that each member is supposed to have regularly, especially if the team has a match to play the next day.

Amongst those who have given a thumbs-up to this comment are few sexologists, who support the positive impact of a good sex life on other activities, taken up in the day; the non-supporters believe that this comment would weaken the moral fibre of the country by encouraging sex as a means to stay fit!

As, Kirsten argues......
Firstly, good sex boosts the morale of the individual and thereby would lead to good performance on the field, as it would raise the confidence and increase the efficiency level.

(Mr. Kirsten, if this is true, then ever wondered what a bad sex performance would do to a player right before the match, or are you planning to take guarantee for good sex performance as well? )

Secondly, good sex would keep the players fit and increases the strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness amongst them.

(Mr. Kirsten, going by this, I am sure our Bhajji paji and Srishanth would have floored many pretty lasses. After all, no Indian player can match the aggression shown by these two controversy kings.)

Well leaving this analysis behind, what’s even more thought provoking is the fact that in a country where cricket creates mass hysteria and is followed like a religion, will such a statement not corrupt the minds of millions of young cricket fans who emulate our men in blue to an immeasurable extent? Mr. Kirsten might have been right in his intentions of suggesting a good sex life for the players, but the indirect impact could cause damage to the growing talent pool, which instead of focusing on the game might deviate to a path detrimental for the game. Time to do some serious thinking Mr. Kirsten!

As they say, bedroom secrets should be shared in a bedroom itself, and not made a part of the official dossier.

By now if you think that our head coach has leniently given an official nod to our team to indulge themselves in pleasure, you are wrong! Did I not tell you that Mr. Kirsten has said a strict no no to late night sex? Guess our players would have to be very vigilant while following a good sex mantra lest our coach comes and says time out….hee hee hee….

Make or Break – While our country debates on the sacrosanctity of this comment, I am sure some journalists would be prying to figure out whether team India has already started to follow this active advice of their coach or not.

In the meanwhile I would savour a cup of hot ginger tea to celebrate the pleasantly cold weather of Melbourne city amidst the hot news of our country!

Go Green...Xixi no Banho!

It might sound inscrutable, however this isn't some kind of a new language that I am struggling to learn and neither is it any kind of an alien environmental code. Weird as it sounds, this is what one of the environmental organisation SOS Mata Atlantica has to say "Xixi no Banho"...which means Pee in the shower!

Brazilians are synonymous with "hot" people worldwide....but next time when you meet them remember these are the people who are being encouraged to pee in their showers....for a very noble act (of which we indians are not habituated) of saving water! Interestingly this group believes that peeing in the shower would save few litres of water which gets wasted each time when we pee and flush,(to which i agree in entirety)...so to combat this loss of water, this group is running campaigns to encourage Brazilians to pee while taking bath and reduce the consumption of water...sounds perfect!!...isn't it??

I am sure the corollary of this campaign does not mean that, each time a person wants to pee, he/she should take a shower!...Ironic that it may sound,I am very certain that a shower would consume more water than a flush in the loo...or is this group expecting people to NOT to pee more than once in a day...of course they would be saving a lot of water this way, just that the whole lot of Brazilians might start suffering with the syndrome of inability to pee!.....or those who would fail in containing this urge might stealthily pee and not flush....Mere thought of it makes me shudder....Obnoxiously insane!!!

This whole idea might save thousands of litres of water, but I am not able to brush aside the thought of stench in the air with no flushing....Those of you, who fancy going to Brazil for an onsite project might want to do some serious re-thinking now...I am sure all of us would want to contribute in saving our beautiful planet, but why toy with ideas of this ilk and come up with such sickening fetid campaigns.There could be and (I am sure with so many intelligent people to research) there are better ideas to go green...

People, please do not quit flushing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to the Indian culture, while I am still trying to cope up with the concept of using tissue papers after emptying my bowels, not flushing will convert me into a infirm screwball for sure....unlike their saying "pee in the shower, save atlantics rain forest", I would prefer to say "Pee in the loo, flush all through.....use less water, save everyone's horror"....

Kiss and Tell....

Alright I will KISS ! 

Nearly all of us do it for pleasure, while the rest few do it on professional demands. 

This isn't about the age old folklore of Ugly frog being kissed by a princess....although it would be quite interesting if kissing a frog could solve a major problem for millions of girls.

Dearth of charming young men around ...?!?!?!?!

Normally, most of us are always in a hurry to finish the work we've been assigned ...but this gentleman from Germany seems to be in rush when most of us would like to follow the principle of slow and steady.....Hundred and Eleven kisses in mere sixty seconds...!!!!!!

This news is sure to turn many of you green with envy...after all who wouldn't want to kiss 111 women and get applauded and honored for it as well (for those of you raising eyebrows out there, this sentence was applicable only for female lovers)....couldn't have asked for more keeping your sanity around!!!

A lot of thinking and planning must have gone behind this...arranging for 111 women on a Friday night and convincing them for a quick peck is undeniably commendable. Maybe those of you who are still single and ready to mingle could take a leaf from this German Lad's kissing tales...

One person to jump in joy over this news would be Emraan Hashmi....our Indian Serial Kisser...Albeit not in 60 seconds, but Mr. Hashmi too might have breached the 111 mark by now...after all, he hasn't earned the title of Serial Kisser for nothing...Well, do not worry Mr. Hashmi. This German man has done it only once...for you there is no stopping…no competition...you can gladly sit on your kissing throne and keep raising the bar for the young generations and inspire the oldies for something better....I hear many chuckles around... ;)

Thanks to the numerous self proclaimed moral policing groups thriving well in our country, while it is virtually impossible for someone to muster courage of this level and create a world record in such acts in India, we surely can enjoy such records created else where....

All said and done, this record must definitely have been a treat for Michael Basting….statistically he kissed 2 women in one second…pheww!! That must have been lightning fast. Now that’s why people say “happiness lies in small things in life”.

With 111 kisses, Michael Basting has perfectly adhered to the principles of KISS...Keep It Short and Simple (What did u think when I said I will KISS ???...naughty naughty !!) … maybe Michael could try creating another record and rejuvenate some more principles for us!

Now stop being impish and learn to KISS…

They came, they saw and they CONQUERED

The perfect week saw a perfect ending...
The entire nation went swinging through the hysteric phase of poll results and the IPL finals. But when the verdict was out some sobbed, some laughed and some watched it stealthily.

From the magnanimous rise of the underdogs to the incessant steering towards stability, we saw it all!
Amidst rattling speculations and media hype our nation reposed its love and faith in the Manmohanomics government, while on the other hand the IPL cup was bravely won by the Deccan Chargers of Hyderabad with a perfect nail biting finish...Voila...as they say in french!

So, while I go and have a perfect good night sleep, hope the ever enthusiastic fans of RCB would cheer up with the fact that their pet team is at No. 2 position, way above the rung earned by them in IPL season 1...afterall isn't effort more important than the result?

Battle Against Accelerating Loyalty....

A country which has moved from bullock carts to satellites and rockets, snail trailed from silent movies to sci-fi blockbusters, metamorphosed from labor-intensive nation to computerized nation, given the world some of the most brilliant brains in the literary world, technology world, business world et al. still abodes people who think computerization is the route which is leading us into an abysmal pitch of problems!

It was much appalling to read the recent statement made by Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav "Let us put an end to any further computerization in this country".

Does he think that India has reached the acme of development and now is the time to turn the wheel of progress the other way round? Just the time when we are gaining foothold on the global scene, Mr. Minister wants to drag us down. Why not? After all who would be benefited the most when the citizens remain uneducated and unequipped for handling the massive work for the mammoth size population of our country! No prizes for guessing the answer.

Most of us would agree that the country in question has moved up the ladder of development and progressive phase. Sadly not all think so!

Mulayam Singh with his not so mulayam statements seems to be suffering with amnesia and ignorance, both at the same time!
Does he not know that this country, with hundreds of years of slavery and backwardness has been able to jostle ahead chiefly riding on the success waves of computerization?
Unemployment is an issue which has been the cause of concern for this nation for decades, but it would be utterly moronic to state that computerization has been the cause behind it. How about the ever growing population of this country? Did it ever occur to Mr. Singh that the monstrous population of this country could be a contributing factor in increasing the unemployment crisis? I guess not.

Just to remind Mr. Singh that he belongs to a state which stands the tallest in our country for its population…what an irony! Or maybe he is a staunch believer of a famous rural saying “as many people, so many hands to earn”. Alas! Mulayam Singh is unable to look at the number of mouths which need to be fed as well.

Maybe such piece of information only bites dust at his door step and never reaches his politicized ears.

Statements and views like this are quite alarming especially if they come from the top brass of a country like politicians and they do nothing but impel me to wonder about the orthodox and constricted vision being nurtured. Vocalizing such petty thoughts would do no good but expose the hollowness of the pillar on which our country has been creeping towards growth!

A sigh of relief prevails to see that the immoderate groups did not make a hill out of this mole, this time. On a lighter note while our minister is quite anti about the computerization, his own party has floated its website flaunting details about his family and the party! Mr. Mulayam Singh ji shouldn’t you be not using the computer for your campaigning based on your own statement? Or is your statement applicable only for the aam junta? Hail the rules of game...the game named politics.

While an answer to this question would be another twisted tale of stagnant thoughts and conceited behaviour, for me this whole situation is nothing more than a farcical moment of the Indian politics.