the Good, the Bad and the Ugly!

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James


I couldn't have agreed more with this thought, than now. Twenty days of procrastination and wrestling with gravity from hundreds of feet above the tiny dots and blocks, could also not make it happen. It happened when boredom got the better of procrastination and jostled the writer out of my New Zealand hangover. So here is the outcome. A mix of fun and pun for you!


Moments of shocks, seconds of sadness, minutes of laughter, hours of smiles and days of emotions! Human being is a unique specie who is known for its expressions of emotions. It is quite amusing how our brain identifies certain things with certain images and tunes our emotions towards them accordingly. And, if the human being in front of us is a politician then he/she is bound to evoke one or the other form of emotion within us…!


Love them or hate them, but you can’t ignore them. Indian politicians have an indelible impact on the minds of millions of their countrymen. These politicians are often known for their unique traits and idiosyncrasies, many of which have been spoken and written about in media, time and again. But ever wondered what will happen if these politicians had to endorse different brands and products for our aam junta ? Who knows, apart from experiencing the usual fits of laughter maybe the Indian film industry could also get lucky and get its new onscreen sensation ……


Well, well, well! Let’s take a quick look at who would fit into what brand, if the politics and advertising alliance were ever to happen.


1. Peter England – The Honest shirt!
He is suave and perceptive and the most non-political prime minister of India till date. The current PM of India and the architect of the modern Indian economic framework, Manmohan Singh is quite known for his Squeaky Clean image and Honesty even in these days. He would totally justify the punch line of Peter England – The Honest Shirt! Like PE shirts, Manmohan Singh has also made truth fashionable, albeit in Indian politics.


2. MTV - Some People Just Don't Get It
Better known for his humor and looks, Laloo Prasad Yadav stands unbeaten as the brand ambassador for MTV channel. His wacky statements and bold approaches have often left Indian public in splits. Everything about him is hatke. Laloo displays the flavor of MTV in the best of his forms. He changed the fate of Indian railways and made it profitable like how he turned his public image from mercenary corrupt politician to a funny man of Indian politics. If it is loud and grungy evocation of aggressive spirit, it is MTV or it is Laloo Prasad Yadav. Both think they are cool. Both think they are the voice of India. (Both don't get it!). While all that both manage to do is rant about themselves, day in and day out! So, Lalooji, you rightfully deserve to endorse the MTV brand for our aam junta.


3. J K Tyre – Total Control
This politician is the best example of tenacity and breaking efficiency on the highly rugged roads of Indian politics. Soniya Gandhi - Italy born Indian politician, who has managed to not only survive but also rule the rooster of the present Indian politics. Like J K tyres, she exercises Total Control over the Congress party and the UPA government. Can you find a better brand ambassador than her?


4. Tata Tea – Jago Re!
This is one politician who bags Tata tea advertisement assignment unrivalled. His love for sleep has transcended the decorum of the coveted seats of Indian political arena. He has churned out more news due to his undying passion for sleep than his work as a politician. He made lethargy and foul language synonymous with the Indian politics. Need I say more? No prizes for guessing this septuagenarian’s name - HD Deve Gowda. Very conveniently he blames stress as the reason for hurling abuses and frequent dozing off in public. Tata Tea would not be able to find a better harbinger than Deve Gowda, albeit as an ideal target audience for this ad due to his acts - a la Kumbhkarn! He needs awakening from his apathy towards people who have elected him. So, Mr Gowda, please have a cuppa of Tata Tea every morning and do what you have been elected for doing – transform lives!


5. Nokia - Connecting People,  Pepsi - Yeh hai Youngistan Meri Jaan
Versatile, dynamic, a people's person, rejuvenator of Indian politics and an apostle of strong India, young India. He has pumped hope in the hearts of millions of Indians and bound them under a belief of "Young India is the progressing India". Rahul Gandhi is the name, which instantly crops up in the mind when one hears words like integrating with people and young India. He comfortably dons the hat of a common man to share his sorrows and instill in him optimism for the future. His charming words have motivated the youth, pan India. He has managed to establish himself as the next generations political hope of our country. Truly wearing his attitude on his sleeves, Rahul Gandhi reflects the spirits of Nokia and Pepsi. Do we have any other politician to match his enigmatic charisma? Do I hear none?


6. Surf Excel - Daag Achche Hote Hai!
If Paradox is her first name, uncouth is her middle name. She placed herself as a paladin of the lower caste and down trodden people in the Indian politics. But no sooner than later, she amassed wealth worth million of rupees. She is one amongst the highest IT paying politicians of our country. She belongs to a breed of "Been there, done that" politicians. You think of a scam in the decade gone by and bam she is associated with it. Mayawati, the Behenji of Indian Politics is a recurrent participant of numerous flimflams and seldom practitioner of serving nation. She imbibes the slogan of surf excel to the core - Daag Achche Hote Hai - No wonder she is valiantly marching towards eating away people's money and blissfully enjoying her daag each time. It’s amazing to see how shamelessly she denies the allegations leveled against her every single time. Mayawati is definitely the best choice of sample for Surf Excel to showcase its cleansing might. Go Surf Excel, Go!


7. Horlicks – Taller, Stronger, Sharper
There are a few names, which I am able to associate with the Horlicks drink, but one-name blocks my vision entirely (and literally too!). When it comes to growth (of any kind), this single person beats one and all. Be it physically, materialistically or in the power game, this politician has grown astronomically taller, stronger and sharper. Enjoying the adulations of both the film world and politics, she has ascertained her position as a dominating power monger politician who cannot be ignored. Jayalalithaa Jayaram or simply Amma – the actor politico of Tamil Nadu. From being a paramour of MGR she has grown to become the goddess of Tamil Nadu. Her haughty demeanor and arrogant attitude have only multiplied with time. Metamorphosing from a slim, glamorous actress into portly body and an elephantine stature, she comes out as the perfect choice for promoting the Taller, Stronger and Sharper qualities of Horlicks.


Good, bad or ugly, brands and politicians are mushrooming with equal zest in our country. I wonder what we are witnessing now is bad or ugly? The chances of it being good is bleak and scary too. Nevertheless I am confident that this saga will keep evolving with time and provide platform for some more ludicrous moments of political whimsy to the aam junta.Till then let's enjoy this tale with our good, bad and ugly politicians.


Oh, btw, Happy New Year to all :)

Wake Up.....!

And yet another blow to the pride of our secular nation! …. while previous wounds have still not healed, the nation is bleeding and weeping, afresh. However, this time the pain is not over the wounds of the past, but over the hot-off-the fire debasement which has lacerated the soul of the nation yet again. This outrage came in wake of a recent statement made by Master blaster Sachin Tendulkar, "Mumbai belongs to India. That is how I look at it. And I am a Maharashtrian and I am extremely proud of that but I am an Indian first". Mr. Thackeray saw this as an attempt to attenuate the image of Marathi “manoos”, which he had created some years ago to bulk up his vote bank. It sure has worked well for him, but in the bargain has created a rift between people of the same nation! A rift, created to satiate the false ego of a power hunger political sycophant.

Amitabh Bachchan to Sachin Tendulkar, all have borne the tongue-lashings of this man, who is a self-proclaimed protagonist of the interests of the Marathi “manoos”. Little does he realize that his whims and fancies are not only costing lives of hundreds of people but also creating bitterness amongst the various sections of people of this country.

Who on earth would interpret, that praises for India first and Maharashtra second would demean Maharashtra’s stature in the country? Only Bal Thackeray has such acumen and its quite unfortunate that he shares his acumen with the rest of the country garbed in his venomous speeches!

People of such mental make-up take undue liberty of being in a democratic country. Freedom of speech gets mocked at royally! With ageing body, Mr. Thackeray (Bal and Raj, both) seems to have forgotten that Maharashtra is a part of India and Indian citizens do not require a passport or a visa to live and work there. Contrary to the general sentiments of the Indians, the duo of Thackerays think that expression of love is ruining our culture; they believe that loyalty towards Maharashtra comes before loyalty towards India. Hold on! This isn’t it. They also firmly believe that every person in Maharashtra should carry out his/her business in Marathi language. Good Lord! Then why am I able to see his very own site (http://www.shivsena.org) displaying the usage of English language? May be, this is what is defined as “Hypocrisy” in the dictionaries.

It’s high time when such people put their head on shoulders and refrain from creating divide of any kind in India. Our country has had enough of hair-brained political games played on the behest of religion and caste. If we, the common man of India, do not rise and wake up to this call, then we would have no one to blame for the innumerable sufferings in the future. Of course media has to work hand-in-glove with the common man, by not giving extra mileage to inflammatory opinions of such people.

The time has come and the time is now! Either we shut our ears towards the strategic “divide and rule” sermons of such power hungry goondas (calling them politicians would be a misnomer) or we gear ourselves for ripping our country into 28 smaller pieces. The choice is ours.

Battle Against Accelerating Loyalty....

A country which has moved from bullock carts to satellites and rockets, snail trailed from silent movies to sci-fi blockbusters, metamorphosed from labor-intensive nation to computerized nation, given the world some of the most brilliant brains in the literary world, technology world, business world et al. still abodes people who think computerization is the route which is leading us into an abysmal pitch of problems!

It was much appalling to read the recent statement made by Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav "Let us put an end to any further computerization in this country".

Does he think that India has reached the acme of development and now is the time to turn the wheel of progress the other way round? Just the time when we are gaining foothold on the global scene, Mr. Minister wants to drag us down. Why not? After all who would be benefited the most when the citizens remain uneducated and unequipped for handling the massive work for the mammoth size population of our country! No prizes for guessing the answer.

Most of us would agree that the country in question has moved up the ladder of development and progressive phase. Sadly not all think so!

Mulayam Singh with his not so mulayam statements seems to be suffering with amnesia and ignorance, both at the same time!
Does he not know that this country, with hundreds of years of slavery and backwardness has been able to jostle ahead chiefly riding on the success waves of computerization?
Unemployment is an issue which has been the cause of concern for this nation for decades, but it would be utterly moronic to state that computerization has been the cause behind it. How about the ever growing population of this country? Did it ever occur to Mr. Singh that the monstrous population of this country could be a contributing factor in increasing the unemployment crisis? I guess not.

Just to remind Mr. Singh that he belongs to a state which stands the tallest in our country for its population…what an irony! Or maybe he is a staunch believer of a famous rural saying “as many people, so many hands to earn”. Alas! Mulayam Singh is unable to look at the number of mouths which need to be fed as well.

Maybe such piece of information only bites dust at his door step and never reaches his politicized ears.

Statements and views like this are quite alarming especially if they come from the top brass of a country like politicians and they do nothing but impel me to wonder about the orthodox and constricted vision being nurtured. Vocalizing such petty thoughts would do no good but expose the hollowness of the pillar on which our country has been creeping towards growth!

A sigh of relief prevails to see that the immoderate groups did not make a hill out of this mole, this time. On a lighter note while our minister is quite anti about the computerization, his own party has floated its website flaunting details about his family and the party! Mr. Mulayam Singh ji shouldn’t you be not using the computer for your campaigning based on your own statement? Or is your statement applicable only for the aam junta? Hail the rules of game...the game named politics.

While an answer to this question would be another twisted tale of stagnant thoughts and conceited behaviour, for me this whole situation is nothing more than a farcical moment of the Indian politics.

Potpourri...of Rain, IPL and Politics

And the driving season embarks with full ardor…..while the little showers of rain in Bangalore makes the drive even more pleasant, the entire nation is getting driven by IPL and Political commotion….yes all over again !!!

It creates a sense of déjà vu, when you read and hear about the hoopla created around the IPL matches. The recent decision to host the IPL matches in England/South Africa has driven the entire country into frenzy of disappointments. The Indian fans back home would definitely miss the cloak of heat and the excitement which this season is known to drape the entire nation in…not to forget the big bucks pocketed by franchisee and sponsors. All the big drama with tears and emotions would take a miss to a larger extend, this time. Right from the cricket icons to the layman, everybody has expressed the burning desire to let India host this mega event…after all it’s an Indian Premier League or do I hear Inthe Political Loggerhead….

Any issue which could churn the sentiments of public at large becomes the cynosure of Indian political arena and what better than cricket, which is most widely accepted religion in our country! Nothing else binds us Indians together, as much as cricket , which gets the unanimous vote of people across the length and breadth of the country…and our political big-wigs know how best to milk the situation. It’s become a tug-of-war between the Hierarchical Legacy party and the Sycophant Hindutva belching party. This issue is also spinning huge money for media which is busy airing the so called big-debates involving the who’s who of the two parties and mustering all the TRP ratings. So who is complaining? Everyone seems to be basking in the glory (read hue and cry) of IPL hosting. The only sect which remains non-benefited is the common man who can just follow the policy of wait and watch and keep nurturing her/his love for the game, while the world around capitalizes on the pain point itself.

On one hand where IPL is thronging the popularity chart, on the other hand the hatred speech by the latest young face of one of the two big parties of our country is also raking moolah for the media. A quick read through the speech reveals that it’s not a battle for campaigning but a ground for belching hatred and wrath which has been developing within the same dynasty for decades. Mud slinging has become order of the day for Indian politics, but such vendetta should definitely be kept in check by the Election Commission with stringent penalty. I wonder if these people with crowd moving potentials ever think of the impact that their speeches and promises have on the young minds. Maybe not!

With IPL and politics hanging heavy on my head I desperately need something refreshing, some thing which would not make me think and turn bitter….and what better than the cool and soothing drizzly sprinkling rain of Bangalore. So while I soak myself in this magic of nature, you keep watching this space for some more fun and some more gyaan :-)

Lajja - for whom ??

From past few days I have been re-discovering the new meaning of democracy. The old version of democracy " Of the people, by the people and for the people "would soon get replaced by "Of the politics, by the politics and for the politics ". Do we need proofs for this?

I take the liberty of presuming that people who have the habits of reading newspapers and watching news on TV would be well aware of the political situation in India. Nothing to boast about. The recent bedlam over Gujarat polls is enough to support my words. Election is the best season to witness the slandering phenomenon. After all if calumny of somebody else's character can make you appear lesser villain, why not do it? If presidential polls can sustain such gimmicks, we are just talking about politics at the state level. Politics is not standing on any moral grounds. At least this is what the people have been compelled to believe. The political bigwigs do not bat an eye lid while using any object or person as a pawn for elevating their position before the masses.

This time EC has been cleverly used by the two major parties in India to checker each other. To show that it is not polarized EC had to issue notice to certain speakers. This is just a small glimpse of what the politics is capable of doing in our land. Ah, also how can we forget the melodramatic episode of Taslima Nasrin? Very aptly someone has quoted that "One Man's food is another man's poison". While Taslima is on flee from one place to another to find abode for herself where she can dwell with peace, she couldn't refrain from being a part in the Gujarat polls, though not willingly. Modi seized the opportunity to act host for the troubled writer, in the hope that his anti-muslim image would get a make over. By default, voters are assumed to be fools, who cannot see thru things .Maybe they are right!

I am not a politically inclined person and I share zilch interest in who is going to throng the hot seat. My only concern is that why is so much of fuss being made over Taslima's stay in India? Is it all genuine or politically moved? They know the best. Religious fanatics say that she has offended the religion by writing some controversial things in her books. Don't the very same people keep the communal sentiments up on the high tides perennially? Don't they cause mental and physical harm to our nation by killing its secularity? Well, I guess they don't fall in such categories.

At least Taslima's books haven't incited any physical harm. Not until her book got politically tinted. Whenever a writer pens down her thoughts, it need not appeal to all. There would be certain segments in society which would raise objections to anything and everything written and painted. Haven't we heard that the other name for art is radical? Radical thoughts need not be treated as blasphemy always. And if incongruous zones are not explored by the writers then who would bring the common man for rendezvous with eclectic thoughts? This in no means should be taken as prerogative by the writers to craft dictum without head or tale. This also reminds me of the small frenzy which Mayawati created some time back over a song in Madhuri's come back movie "Aaja Nach Le". Now I am sure that like me, 99.9% of people wouldn't have taken the use of word "mochi" in the song, as derogatory. Only after the hue and cry by Mayawati, such a thing came into notice. So ultimately who is undermining certain castes in India, is it the art or the political mob? This creates a sense of deja-vu in me about jingoism, all but for wrong reasons.

Taslima has conveniently become a pawn in the game played by the politicians. But can we blame her? The journey through which Taslima is going definitely needs to wind up. If we don't intervene in politicization of the art then we would continue to lose many more Hussains and Taslimas.

It is not Lajja for Taslima who vocalized her thoughts via books, but Lajja for people who adopt jaundiced approach towards art and poison the nation in-toto. Anomaly in art is still a diminutive issue to focus on. Need of the hour is to palisade the nation from the jaws of political and religious dogmas.

All the World's...a stage

The stage is set…the throne is adorned….and the Bhavan redecorated….
The festive occasion has come….the grand gala… swearing ceremony for the most coveted Seat in India….The New Face for President of India.
On July 25th, Ms Pratibha Patil would take the oath as new president of India, going down in the history of India as the First lady President!

This is a time for celebration…for raising a toast to the future of India.This is a time for our president to develop a Vision for India…India which could bask in the glory of being numero uno in all major walks of life.This is indeed also a time for going back to some basics.

A monthly salary of Rs.40, 000, a sprawling palatial abode and a bunch of people for “Ji-Huzuri”, is this all our politicians are fighting for?

Madam President, as Pratibha Patil would be called, has been able to rake quite a few controversies since her nomination as Presidential candidate by the current government.

This presidential election saw all. ..Thanks to the much educated and decent political faces of our country…they seem to be uncovering many a scandals, murders, rapes and crimes of similar ilk only during elections. They have numerous weapons for denigrating the character of “opposition’s candidate”. Mud slinging and Tongue lashing becomes the name of the game during elections. However what was unique this season was that the highest seat of Indian democracy was also bestowed with allegations of murder and improper means of wealth creation. What a demure way of exhibiting ones respect for the head of our country!!!!!!!!!!

The sanctity of the President’s post seems to have lost.

While Pratibha Patil basks in the glory of her newly earned title, I wonder what new she would do to make her presence matter.
I feel li’l remorseful in biding farewell to Mr. Kalam.
To me, he represented a brand…an apostle of integrity and knowledge. He was one president after Dr. Radhakrishnan, who succeeded in igniting the young minds and instilling them with the hope and vision for a better India. The others have just completed their tenure and exited peacefully.

There is no gain saying the pride which Pratibha Patil has done to the entire women clan, but aren’t we again becoming gender sensitive? I mean why should it matter if the president of India is a male or a female? Isn’t it more important that a right candidate gets elected and steers the country on the path of prosperity? Perhaps Not!

Power and money have become the cynosure for all politicians. In such a scenario Pratibha Patil doesn’t seem to be giving any respite. I am sure, like me, many wouldn’t have known about her existence in the Indian political backdrop…not that it matters, but it certainly would have helped us to relate to her. If it had to be a lady then why not pick someone who has the grit and the vigor to ensure CHANGE.

While I write this, one name which continues to flash in my mind is Roman Magsaysay Laureate- Kiran Bedi…lady who has always set a paradigm for young generations to follow. She exudes a nationwide appeal, which is as genuine as her work has been…No charades…no facades…She is strong, yet so graceful. She also happens to possess a forte, which Mr. Kalam had, and which turned out to be topping the list of qualities people wanted in their Presi…Non Political Association.
So did we miss out on some real candidates for Presidential election?
This question would remain unanswered like so many of them have been in the past….Sighhhh…

Many claim, that even Kalam wasn’t able to do anything out of league from the banal activities of a president; however what they are definitely overlooking is the magnanimous impact which Kalam has till date on the youth of this country. Can Pratibha Patil have the inductive effect? My doubts stand very much intact in their place.

There were plenty of polls thru all channels of media to reflect the choice of people, but all in vain. People’s choice was conveniently ignored by the people’s representatives, who feigned to be doing their best.

Albeit I am an optimist, I am unable to thwart the skepticisms from my mind…I am unable to jettison the disappointments and fear, which have found an abode in my heart ever since this battle began.

The time is crucial,
The Fate is uncertain,
In between, lies the banal answer….
They hog power,
They hog money,
Where is the Well being of people, honey?

I keep my fingers crossed while my heart wishes that I get proved wrong…at least this time for sure!!!

Maya ki Maya

Well, well, well…..the cat is out of the bag now.

Everybody inland (and maybe even abroad) knows that India isn't that poor a country what we are made to believe!
So this is extremely good news for our denizens…right?
Let's find out what (or who) makes our country so rich and wealthy overnight.
The latest news rife in the country is "Maya grew 400% richer in 3 years " (reported by ToI).

For those of you who abhor current affairs, Maya isn't any bollywood filmstar, or a recipient of much envied family heritage. Neither is she the new face of KBC or Indian Idol. Then who is she??

She is one of our politicians and the current CM of UP, better known as "India's Dalit icon".
Mayawati has recently declared assets worth over Rs. 52 crore, according to an affidavit filed by her for nominatios for vidhan sabha.

And mind you, all this just in a span of three years!

Absolutely Amazing…how I wish I could know the secret behind minting so much of money in mere 3 years…common man of India nurtures this dream every day. Alas, this dream fades away every morning and the common man is left to the amusements of his life.

There's more to this truth. Mayawati is just a burgeoning spawn amongst politicians. The bigwigs of political arena are touted to be valued at Rs 500 crore each!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever wondered how these politicians manage to accumulate so much of wealth. After all they are also in the government jobs like millions of us and earn not more than few grands each month. Maybe not.

Politicians have always thronged the news channels for reasons, right or wrong. They have become the perennial flavour of our society, of course not by our choice. Either they are opposing something good which the opposition party is doing, or they are creating waves by being scammers.

Over a period of observations, I have done my own analysis on these politicians and have come to a corollary: more the number of scams, a politician is involved in, higher would be his/her wealth.

It also reminds me of Newton's third law of motion: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Our politicians seem to be obeying this rule diligently. Be it Laloo, Mayawati, or Jayalalitha and Chandrababu Naidu, all have been equally zealous in one thing- amassing wealth.

They sure can divulge authenticate modus operandi behind this.

For the good work they do being in power, they tend to develop untold bhakts (followers). But these bhakts also can not raise so much of money overnight.

So what's the secret behind this?

One option which comes to my mind is that probably politics is a very lucrative field to be in. No wonder the story of "rags to riches" is seen here more often than anywhere else.

If this is so, why were the politicians from older era weren't so rich?
Maybe, this option also gets ruled out now.

I feel having got caught in the vortex of "Maya ki Maya".
The more I try to brush this news away from my mind, the more I get intrigued by it. Somebody has to demystify this and let the common man know the formula for sudden richness. Only if wishes were horses, we would have had all the truth naked, before us.

Well, this could very well turn out to be a "Pandora's box". Then moment you remove the lid, all problems would start flying around.

So what do we do now?

For the moment, let's leave this buried formula of "Maya ki Maya" suspense and pray to God that some day, some body would have enough pluck to question these politicians on their face, and dig out the truth for us.

Till then let's continue to bask in the glory of our own richness-albeit only in dreams!