Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James
I couldn't have agreed more with this thought, than now. Twenty days of procrastination and wrestling with gravity from hundreds of feet above the tiny dots and blocks, could also not make it happen. It happened when boredom got the better of procrastination and jostled the writer out of my New Zealand hangover. So here is the outcome. A mix of fun and pun for you!
Moments of shocks, seconds of sadness, minutes of laughter, hours of smiles and days of emotions! Human being is a unique specie who is known for its expressions of emotions. It is quite amusing how our brain identifies certain things with certain images and tunes our emotions towards them accordingly. And, if the human being in front of us is a politician then he/she is bound to evoke one or the other form of emotion within us…!
Love them or hate them, but you can’t ignore them. Indian politicians have an indelible impact on the minds of millions of their countrymen. These politicians are often known for their unique traits and idiosyncrasies, many of which have been spoken and written about in media, time and again. But ever wondered what will happen if these politicians had to endorse different brands and products for our aam junta ? Who knows, apart from experiencing the usual fits of laughter maybe the Indian film industry could also get lucky and get its new onscreen sensation ……
Well, well, well! Let’s take a quick look at who would fit into what brand, if the politics and advertising alliance were ever to happen.
1. Peter England – The Honest shirt!
He is suave and perceptive and the most non-political prime minister of India till date. The current PM of India and the architect of the modern Indian economic framework, Manmohan Singh is quite known for his Squeaky Clean image and Honesty even in these days. He would totally justify the punch line of Peter England – The Honest Shirt! Like PE shirts, Manmohan Singh has also made truth fashionable, albeit in Indian politics.
2. MTV - Some People Just Don't Get It
Better known for his humor and looks, Laloo Prasad Yadav stands unbeaten as the brand ambassador for MTV channel. His wacky statements and bold approaches have often left Indian public in splits. Everything about him is hatke. Laloo displays the flavor of MTV in the best of his forms. He changed the fate of Indian railways and made it profitable like how he turned his public image from mercenary corrupt politician to a funny man of Indian politics. If it is loud and grungy evocation of aggressive spirit, it is MTV or it is Laloo Prasad Yadav. Both think they are cool. Both think they are the voice of India. (Both don't get it!). While all that both manage to do is rant about themselves, day in and day out! So, Lalooji, you rightfully deserve to endorse the MTV brand for our aam junta.
3. J K Tyre – Total Control
This politician is the best example of tenacity and breaking efficiency on the highly rugged roads of Indian politics. Soniya Gandhi - Italy born Indian politician, who has managed to not only survive but also rule the rooster of the present Indian politics. Like J K tyres, she exercises Total Control over the Congress party and the UPA government. Can you find a better brand ambassador than her?
4. Tata Tea – Jago Re!
This is one politician who bags Tata tea advertisement assignment unrivalled. His love for sleep has transcended the decorum of the coveted seats of Indian political arena. He has churned out more news due to his undying passion for sleep than his work as a politician. He made lethargy and foul language synonymous with the Indian politics. Need I say more? No prizes for guessing this septuagenarian’s name - HD Deve Gowda. Very conveniently he blames stress as the reason for hurling abuses and frequent dozing off in public. Tata Tea would not be able to find a better harbinger than Deve Gowda, albeit as an ideal target audience for this ad due to his acts - a la Kumbhkarn! He needs awakening from his apathy towards people who have elected him. So, Mr Gowda, please have a cuppa of Tata Tea every morning and do what you have been elected for doing – transform lives!
5. Nokia - Connecting People, Pepsi - Yeh hai Youngistan Meri Jaan
Versatile, dynamic, a people's person, rejuvenator of Indian politics and an apostle of strong India, young India. He has pumped hope in the hearts of millions of Indians and bound them under a belief of "Young India is the progressing India". Rahul Gandhi is the name, which instantly crops up in the mind when one hears words like integrating with people and young India. He comfortably dons the hat of a common man to share his sorrows and instill in him optimism for the future. His charming words have motivated the youth, pan India. He has managed to establish himself as the next generations political hope of our country. Truly wearing his attitude on his sleeves, Rahul Gandhi reflects the spirits of Nokia and Pepsi. Do we have any other politician to match his enigmatic charisma? Do I hear none?
6. Surf Excel - Daag Achche Hote Hai!
If Paradox is her first name, uncouth is her middle name. She placed herself as a paladin of the lower caste and down trodden people in the Indian politics. But no sooner than later, she amassed wealth worth million of rupees. She is one amongst the highest IT paying politicians of our country. She belongs to a breed of "Been there, done that" politicians. You think of a scam in the decade gone by and bam she is associated with it. Mayawati, the Behenji of Indian Politics is a recurrent participant of numerous flimflams and seldom practitioner of serving nation. She imbibes the slogan of surf excel to the core - Daag Achche Hote Hai - No wonder she is valiantly marching towards eating away people's money and blissfully enjoying her daag each time. It’s amazing to see how shamelessly she denies the allegations leveled against her every single time. Mayawati is definitely the best choice of sample for Surf Excel to showcase its cleansing might. Go Surf Excel, Go!
7. Horlicks – Taller, Stronger, Sharper
There are a few names, which I am able to associate with the Horlicks drink, but one-name blocks my vision entirely (and literally too!). When it comes to growth (of any kind), this single person beats one and all. Be it physically, materialistically or in the power game, this politician has grown astronomically taller, stronger and sharper. Enjoying the adulations of both the film world and politics, she has ascertained her position as a dominating power monger politician who cannot be ignored. Jayalalithaa Jayaram or simply Amma – the actor politico of Tamil Nadu. From being a paramour of MGR she has grown to become the goddess of Tamil Nadu. Her haughty demeanor and arrogant attitude have only multiplied with time. Metamorphosing from a slim, glamorous actress into portly body and an elephantine stature, she comes out as the perfect choice for promoting the Taller, Stronger and Sharper qualities of Horlicks.
Good, bad or ugly, brands and politicians are mushrooming with equal zest in our country. I wonder what we are witnessing now is bad or ugly? The chances of it being good is bleak and scary too. Nevertheless I am confident that this saga will keep evolving with time and provide platform for some more ludicrous moments of political whimsy to the aam junta.Till then let's enjoy this tale with our good, bad and ugly politicians.
Oh, btw, Happy New Year to all :)