Saturday, September 26, 2009

Sex & "The" Cricket!

Yes, you’ve read it correctly. This is not a typo.
Hats off to you Mr. Kirsten! You’ve just made playing cricket more interesting for our players.

Mr. Kirsten seems to be agreeing to this message on the t-shirt in toto.....infact he believes that sex and cricket share a parity and complement each other. Wondering why?

By the way, for those of you, who are wondering about who this Mr. Kristen is and how is he related to cricket, Good news….Good news - He is the present head coach of our Indian cricket team.

With India’s recent success in the Compaq Cup 2009 series, there were few action points for our men in blue to work upon. Of course, most of these were suggested by our coach! But what caught the fancy of the entire nation was this particular suggestion of Kirsten to players.

Have good sex for enhanced performance on the cricket fields.....!!!!!!

While this comment has created frenzy across the length and breadth of the country for its titillating nature, it comes at a time when our team is working towards cementing its number one position in the ICC ODI ranking, having already secured it.

What amuses me is the way this suggestion has been made a part of the action points for the team. It’s been prescribed like a medicine dose that each member is supposed to have regularly, especially if the team has a match to play the next day.

Amongst those who have given a thumbs-up to this comment are few sexologists, who support the positive impact of a good sex life on other activities, taken up in the day; the non-supporters believe that this comment would weaken the moral fibre of the country by encouraging sex as a means to stay fit!

As, Kirsten argues......
Firstly, good sex boosts the morale of the individual and thereby would lead to good performance on the field, as it would raise the confidence and increase the efficiency level.

(Mr. Kirsten, if this is true, then ever wondered what a bad sex performance would do to a player right before the match, or are you planning to take guarantee for good sex performance as well? )

Secondly, good sex would keep the players fit and increases the strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness amongst them.
(Mr. Kirsten, going by this, I am sure our Bhajji paji and Srishanth would have floored many pretty lasses. After all, no Indian player can match the aggression shown by these two controversy kings.)

Well leaving this analysis behind, what’s even more thought provoking is the fact that in a country where cricket creates mass hysteria and is followed like a religion, will such a statement not corrupt the minds of millions of young cricket fans who emulate our men in blue to an immeasurable extent? Mr. Kirsten might have been right in his intentions of suggesting a good sex life for the players, but the indirect impact could cause damage to the growing talent pool, which instead of focusing on the game might deviate to a path detrimental for the game. Time to do some serious thinking Mr. Kirsten!

As they say, bedroom secrets should be shared in a bedroom itself, and not made a part of the official dossier.

By now if you think that our head coach has leniently given an official nod to our team to indulge themselves in pleasure, you are wrong! Did I not tell you that Mr. Kirsten has said a strict no no to late night sex? Guess our players would have to be very vigilant while following a good sex mantra lest our coach comes and says time out….hee hee hee….

Make or Break – While our country debates on the sacrosanctity of this comment, I am sure some journalists would be prying to figure out whether team India has already started to follow this active advice of their coach or not.

In the meanwhile I would savour a cup of hot ginger tea to celebrate the pleasantly cold weather of Melbourne city amidst the hot news of our country!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Go Green...Xixi no Banho!

It might sound inscrutable, however this isn't some kind of a new language that I am struggling to learn and neither is it any kind of an alien environmental code. Weird as it sounds, this is what one of the environmental organisation SOS Mata Atlantica has to say "Xixi no Banho"...which means Pee in the shower!

Brazilians are synonymous with "hot" people worldwide....but next time when you meet them remember these are the people who are being encouraged to pee in their showers....for a very noble act (of which we indians are not habituated) of saving water! Interestingly this group believes that peeing in the shower would save few litres of water which gets wasted each time when we pee and flush,(to which i agree in entirety) to combat this loss of water, this group is running campaigns to encourage Brazilians to pee while taking bath and reduce the consumption of water...sounds perfect!!...isn't it??

I am sure the corollary of this campaign does not mean that, each time a person wants to pee, he/she should take a shower!...Ironic that it may sound,I am very certain that a shower would consume more water than a flush in the loo...or is this group expecting people to NOT to pee more than once in a day...of course they would be saving a lot of water this way, just that the whole lot of Brazilians might start suffering with the syndrome of inability to pee!.....or those who would fail in containing this urge might stealthily pee and not flush....Mere thought of it makes me shudder....Obnoxiously insane!!!

This whole idea might save thousands of litres of water, but I am not able to brush aside the thought of stench in the air with no flushing....Those of you, who fancy going to Brazil for an onsite project might want to do some serious re-thinking now...I am sure all of us would want to contribute in saving our beautiful planet, but why toy with ideas of this ilk and come up with such sickening fetid campaigns.There could be and (I am sure with so many intelligent people to research) there are better ideas to go green...

People, please do not quit flushing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to the Indian culture, while I am still trying to cope up with the concept of using tissue papers after emptying my bowels, not flushing will convert me into a infirm screwball for sure....unlike their saying "pee in the shower, save atlantics rain forest", I would prefer to say "Pee in the loo, flush all through.....use less water, save everyone's horror"....