Saturday, September 26, 2009

Sex & "The" Cricket!

Yes, you’ve read it correctly. This is not a typo.
Hats off to you Mr. Kirsten! You’ve just made playing cricket more interesting for our players.

Mr. Kirsten seems to be agreeing to this message on the t-shirt in toto.....infact he believes that sex and cricket share a parity and complement each other. Wondering why?

By the way, for those of you, who are wondering about who this Mr. Kristen is and how is he related to cricket, Good news….Good news - He is the present head coach of our Indian cricket team.

With India’s recent success in the Compaq Cup 2009 series, there were few action points for our men in blue to work upon. Of course, most of these were suggested by our coach! But what caught the fancy of the entire nation was this particular suggestion of Kirsten to players.

Have good sex for enhanced performance on the cricket fields.....!!!!!!

While this comment has created frenzy across the length and breadth of the country for its titillating nature, it comes at a time when our team is working towards cementing its number one position in the ICC ODI ranking, having already secured it.

What amuses me is the way this suggestion has been made a part of the action points for the team. It’s been prescribed like a medicine dose that each member is supposed to have regularly, especially if the team has a match to play the next day.

Amongst those who have given a thumbs-up to this comment are few sexologists, who support the positive impact of a good sex life on other activities, taken up in the day; the non-supporters believe that this comment would weaken the moral fibre of the country by encouraging sex as a means to stay fit!

As, Kirsten argues......
Firstly, good sex boosts the morale of the individual and thereby would lead to good performance on the field, as it would raise the confidence and increase the efficiency level.

(Mr. Kirsten, if this is true, then ever wondered what a bad sex performance would do to a player right before the match, or are you planning to take guarantee for good sex performance as well? )

Secondly, good sex would keep the players fit and increases the strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness amongst them.
(Mr. Kirsten, going by this, I am sure our Bhajji paji and Srishanth would have floored many pretty lasses. After all, no Indian player can match the aggression shown by these two controversy kings.)

Well leaving this analysis behind, what’s even more thought provoking is the fact that in a country where cricket creates mass hysteria and is followed like a religion, will such a statement not corrupt the minds of millions of young cricket fans who emulate our men in blue to an immeasurable extent? Mr. Kirsten might have been right in his intentions of suggesting a good sex life for the players, but the indirect impact could cause damage to the growing talent pool, which instead of focusing on the game might deviate to a path detrimental for the game. Time to do some serious thinking Mr. Kirsten!

As they say, bedroom secrets should be shared in a bedroom itself, and not made a part of the official dossier.

By now if you think that our head coach has leniently given an official nod to our team to indulge themselves in pleasure, you are wrong! Did I not tell you that Mr. Kirsten has said a strict no no to late night sex? Guess our players would have to be very vigilant while following a good sex mantra lest our coach comes and says time out….hee hee hee….

Make or Break – While our country debates on the sacrosanctity of this comment, I am sure some journalists would be prying to figure out whether team India has already started to follow this active advice of their coach or not.

In the meanwhile I would savour a cup of hot ginger tea to celebrate the pleasantly cold weather of Melbourne city amidst the hot news of our country!


  1. Super stuff!!
    What if the media fraternity has published this late.
    Imagine this was of the part of gully cricket rule book itself.

    Well, Now the nick names finally makes sense..

    Master Blaster :)
    Wall (Likes it up the wall)
    UV.. that's some equipment man!! :)

  2. @Thanks Dude...

    well, m sure this rule might hv been followed religiously before as well, however with ur insight on the names, many thoughts are now cropping up in my mind...

    wondered about these...????
    Screw (Corey Collymore)
    Foxy (Graeme Fowler)
    Two-meter-peter (Peter Fulton)....and many such thought provoking

  3. hey.. nice post and a nice comment about the 'ever in the headlines' bhajji and shreesanth... though its debatable whether sex will improve performance in the field or not, i dont think that Kirsten intend to affect the morale/culture of our country and corrupt the minds of young cricket aspirants...

    the fact is that.. this mail/document was supposed to be sent only to the team members.. and somehow it leaked to the media(just like gangulys letter to chappal, some inhouse discussions of the selection committee).. in that case, i believe its just fine if everything is confined to the team members and support staff...

    anyway, the indian team lost after this mail got public.... adding fuel to the fire for the media persons and their assumptions/speculations...

  4. @ Shankar...thanks!

    Whatever would have been the intentions of Kirsten, I am sure that media got a lot of masala to create their own grapewine!

    All said and done, even if Kirsten officially wanted the men in blue to indulge in sex before matches, it would have been hard for him to ensure that the guys have GOOD sex to ensure their win. As I have mentioned in my post, what would have Kirsten done if the guys have BAD sex and consequently lose the match ?

    Maybe Kirsten needs to add some more clause to that point to cover such

    Keep reading,

  5. Yeah.. its true that the media is sure to have added a lot of 'masala' to this topic, so that it reaches the public...

    haha.. its true that he cant ensure that the guys perform well there.. and it has consequences too (if they had it BAD).. the very thought that they didnt hav a gud sex is sure to affect them mentally and their performance in the cricket field..

    anyway, you have to make sure that these comments dont leak to the media and BCCI.. then there are chances that they have special coaches to enhance the performance of the guys in BED.. with BCCI, these things arent a big surprise..

  6. As they happens only in India....maybe this could just make that saying true ;)