Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Scandals, Spies and Silver Screens

It is that time in our lives when we forget about the past and look forward for more zing and emphatic events in the future. Many of you have revolutionized the way I would be thought of in the times to come and while I am on the verge of winding up my last few chapters (as I look back) I can’t help but feel nostalgic about how some of you have made my journey so memorable. I have rummaged my grey cells to find out those to whom I would like to whisper few words of farewell before passing on the baton to my much vibrant and youthful heir – year 2011.

My tenure has not seen much ecstasy in our Indian film industry as most of the talked about movies bombed at the box office (BO). However there were a few movies which pumped life back into the panting Bollywood and gave it enough reason to stay bubbly and chirpy for my adieu. There are many contenders who hogged the limelight during my era but the ones who top my list for etching my names in the history will be well saluted here!

Oh by the way before you begin to yawn and switch off your brains thinking that my old mind is full of choking emotions, let me clarify that my farewell bid would be spicy and juicy with a hint of humor in it. So open your eyes, tune your minds and get set to read some tongue-in-cheek thoughts and some beans which will be spilled here, just for you.

Since the concept of remakes is catching up with many of our Bollywood directors, I too thought of presenting my vote of thanks in hatke manner with these remakes.

Love, Sex and Dhokha
Nityanand Swami! The name says it all. While the actual movie was born out of Ekta Kapoor’s production house, it would have had rung more cash at the BO with our sleaze guru in the lead. His acts of meditation, salvation and relaxation have done enough rounds on the TV channels and internet revealing his lustful life through the voyeuristic glimpses by his disciples. His love for his sex life was exposed by his associates who completed the trilogy of dhokha with their spying cameras. Of course this movie would also feature our famous Tamil actress who was jiving with Nityanand towards enlightenment (?!?!?!).

My Name is Khan
In the real world Julian Assange is the man of the moment who would fit well in the shoes of SRK and shout “My name is Assange and I am not a Rapist”. This man has sent the whole world in a state of frenzy with his disclosure of numerous official documents from various countries about their thoughts, strategies and views on matters of prime concerns. He has not only struck various leaders with his blizzard of confidential information but also put their intentions in a light which is bleak, suspicious and highly questionable. With some lilting music and eye tearing lyrics Assange could become one of the top grosser in Indian film industry with this charismatic appeal (why else would so many women claim to have slept with him?)

I Hate Love Stories
Some links ups, some break ups and some hush-hush romances stirred along with some melodramatic weddings and lots of suaveness and oomph will surely make up for a paparazzi’s delight and if you throw in couple of grooving songs with breathtaking cinematography topped with sizzling dance numbers then a potboiler is guaranteed to hit the charts of Indian cinema. Tharoor-Sunaina, Sania-Shoaib and Dhoni-Sakshi grabbed headlines when they tied knots after their much publicized hunky-dory relationships. While Tharoor fought the political battle and impressed his lady love amidst the IPL brawl MSD took the whole world by surprise with his news of chat mangni and pat shaadi with his childhood sweetheart. Gyrating to the tunes of love and defying the acrimony of the two nations at loggerheads Sania Mirza broke up with her ex-fiancĂ© and entered into wedlock with her cricketer beau despite much hoopla surrounding his marital status. I am sure these couples would ooze out more chemistry and oomph to set the silver screen on fire than the Imraan-Sonam’s jodi.

A corrupt cop with a history of strained family relationships and a coy desi belle to sing and dance belied everyone’s speculations and became the biggest blockbuster of my life. The other two things which have ensured that no one forgets me are A. Raja and Kalmadi with their 2G Spectrum and CWG scams respectively. In complete Dabangg manner these two showed no signs of guilt or remorse even after their acts of swindling crores of rupees have maligned their public images. Audaciously claiming to be oblivious of the misdeeds, the duo have become prominent political names. 2G Spectrum scored a bit higher and pipped the CWG scam to win the honor of becoming the political Dabangg starring the infamous Niira Radia in lead with A. Raja to woo the Indian cinemagoers. The influence which she exercised on media, businesses and political arena has catapulted her to the epitome of recognition ladder. She has become the latest heart throb of millions of websites and journalists who love to banter her and write about the shrewdness with which she worked her way into peoples’ life.

Pyaar Impossible
It can easily be called one of the most forgettable movies of my time because even the inclusion of hottie like Priyanka Chopra could not salvage the fate of the movie and of course sinking career of Uday Chopra. Ayodhya verdict was a bit contrary to this movie in terms of its impact on people but very well justifies its title. Fear of another Hindu Muslim riot had thronged the minds of entire nation when this verdict was expected to come out in October. Many states had their schools and offices closed for few days around this time to lessen any impact of the riot as it was taken for granted that there was no pyaar possible between the two religions if the court gives its results in favor of either. However playing smart and taking the path of a cupid, Ayodhya verdict came out supporting both the beliefs and eliminated any reason which would otherwise jeopardize blossoming of much possible pyaar between them. Add few patriotic songs and heart rendering scenes and you will get perfect recipe for a hit movie, thanks to our religion centric nation.

Phew…!!! Nah the list isn’t over yet, but I can already hear 2011 knocking loudly on my door. Guess it’s time to wrap up my memories and present a clean canvass for 2011 to paint pictures in its own style. With very little time on my hand and even less patience in your souls I would wind up my salutations now. Hope you have enjoyed every bit of your time with me and got worthy glimpse of news makers of my life.

Wish you all a wonderful time in 2011. Hope it is as charismatic and ebullient as I was ;)

Adieu folks!

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