Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James
I couldn't have agreed more with this thought, than now. Twenty days of procrastination and wrestling with gravity from hundreds of feet above the tiny dots and blocks, could also not make it happen. It happened when boredom got the better of procrastination and jostled the writer out of my New Zealand hangover. So here is the outcome. A mix of fun and pun for you!
Moments of shocks, seconds of sadness, minutes of laughter, hours of smiles and days of emotions! Human being is a unique specie who is known for its expressions of emotions. It is quite amusing how our brain identifies certain things with certain images and tunes our emotions towards them accordingly. And, if the human being in front of us is a politician then he/she is bound to evoke one or the other form of emotion within us…!
Love them or hate them, but you can’t ignore them. Indian politicians have an indelible impact on the minds of millions of their countrymen. These politicians are often known for their unique traits and idiosyncrasies, many of which have been spoken and written about in media, time and again. But ever wondered what will happen if these politicians had to endorse different brands and products for our aam junta ? Who knows, apart from experiencing the usual fits of laughter maybe the Indian film industry could also get lucky and get its new onscreen sensation ……
Well, well, well! Let’s take a quick look at who would fit into what brand, if the politics and advertising alliance were ever to happen.
1. Peter England – The Honest shirt!
He is suave and perceptive and the most non-political prime minister of India till date. The current PM of India and the architect of the modern Indian economic framework, Manmohan Singh is quite known for his Squeaky Clean image and Honesty even in these days. He would totally justify the punch line of Peter England – The Honest Shirt! Like PE shirts, Manmohan Singh has also made truth fashionable, albeit in Indian politics.
2. MTV - Some People Just Don't Get It
Better known for his humor and looks, Laloo Prasad Yadav stands unbeaten as the brand ambassador for MTV channel. His wacky statements and bold approaches have often left Indian public in splits. Everything about him is hatke. Laloo displays the flavor of MTV in the best of his forms. He changed the fate of Indian railways and made it profitable like how he turned his public image from mercenary corrupt politician to a funny man of Indian politics. If it is loud and grungy evocation of aggressive spirit, it is MTV or it is Laloo Prasad Yadav. Both think they are cool. Both think they are the voice of India. (Both don't get it!). While all that both manage to do is rant about themselves, day in and day out! So, Lalooji, you rightfully deserve to endorse the MTV brand for our aam junta.
3. J K Tyre – Total Control
This politician is the best example of tenacity and breaking efficiency on the highly rugged roads of Indian politics. Soniya Gandhi - Italy born Indian politician, who has managed to not only survive but also rule the rooster of the present Indian politics. Like J K tyres, she exercises Total Control over the Congress party and the UPA government. Can you find a better brand ambassador than her?
4. Tata Tea – Jago Re!
This is one politician who bags Tata tea advertisement assignment unrivalled. His love for sleep has transcended the decorum of the coveted seats of Indian political arena. He has churned out more news due to his undying passion for sleep than his work as a politician. He made lethargy and foul language synonymous with the Indian politics. Need I say more? No prizes for guessing this septuagenarian’s name - HD Deve Gowda. Very conveniently he blames stress as the reason for hurling abuses and frequent dozing off in public. Tata Tea would not be able to find a better harbinger than Deve Gowda, albeit as an ideal target audience for this ad due to his acts - a la Kumbhkarn! He needs awakening from his apathy towards people who have elected him. So, Mr Gowda, please have a cuppa of Tata Tea every morning and do what you have been elected for doing – transform lives!
5. Nokia - Connecting People, Pepsi - Yeh hai Youngistan Meri Jaan
Versatile, dynamic, a people's person, rejuvenator of Indian politics and an apostle of strong India, young India. He has pumped hope in the hearts of millions of Indians and bound them under a belief of "Young India is the progressing India". Rahul Gandhi is the name, which instantly crops up in the mind when one hears words like integrating with people and young India. He comfortably dons the hat of a common man to share his sorrows and instill in him optimism for the future. His charming words have motivated the youth, pan India. He has managed to establish himself as the next generations political hope of our country. Truly wearing his attitude on his sleeves, Rahul Gandhi reflects the spirits of Nokia and Pepsi. Do we have any other politician to match his enigmatic charisma? Do I hear none?
6. Surf Excel - Daag Achche Hote Hai!
If Paradox is her first name, uncouth is her middle name. She placed herself as a paladin of the lower caste and down trodden people in the Indian politics. But no sooner than later, she amassed wealth worth million of rupees. She is one amongst the highest IT paying politicians of our country. She belongs to a breed of "Been there, done that" politicians. You think of a scam in the decade gone by and bam she is associated with it. Mayawati, the Behenji of Indian Politics is a recurrent participant of numerous flimflams and seldom practitioner of serving nation. She imbibes the slogan of surf excel to the core - Daag Achche Hote Hai - No wonder she is valiantly marching towards eating away people's money and blissfully enjoying her daag each time. It’s amazing to see how shamelessly she denies the allegations leveled against her every single time. Mayawati is definitely the best choice of sample for Surf Excel to showcase its cleansing might. Go Surf Excel, Go!
7. Horlicks – Taller, Stronger, Sharper
There are a few names, which I am able to associate with the Horlicks drink, but one-name blocks my vision entirely (and literally too!). When it comes to growth (of any kind), this single person beats one and all. Be it physically, materialistically or in the power game, this politician has grown astronomically taller, stronger and sharper. Enjoying the adulations of both the film world and politics, she has ascertained her position as a dominating power monger politician who cannot be ignored. Jayalalithaa Jayaram or simply Amma – the actor politico of Tamil Nadu. From being a paramour of MGR she has grown to become the goddess of Tamil Nadu. Her haughty demeanor and arrogant attitude have only multiplied with time. Metamorphosing from a slim, glamorous actress into portly body and an elephantine stature, she comes out as the perfect choice for promoting the Taller, Stronger and Sharper qualities of Horlicks.
Good, bad or ugly, brands and politicians are mushrooming with equal zest in our country. I wonder what we are witnessing now is bad or ugly? The chances of it being good is bleak and scary too. Nevertheless I am confident that this saga will keep evolving with time and provide platform for some more ludicrous moments of political whimsy to the aam junta.Till then let's enjoy this tale with our good, bad and ugly politicians.
Oh, btw, Happy New Year to all :)
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Sex & "The" Cricket!
Yes, you’ve read it correctly. This is not a typo.
Hats off to you Mr. Kirsten! You’ve just made playing cricket more interesting for our players.
Hats off to you Mr. Kirsten! You’ve just made playing cricket more interesting for our players.
Mr. Kirsten seems to be agreeing to this message on the t-shirt in toto.....infact he believes that sex and cricket share a parity and complement each other. Wondering why?
By the way, for those of you, who are wondering about who this Mr. Kristen is and how is he related to cricket, Good news….Good news - He is the present head coach of our Indian cricket team.
By the way, for those of you, who are wondering about who this Mr. Kristen is and how is he related to cricket, Good news….Good news - He is the present head coach of our Indian cricket team.
With India’s recent success in the Compaq Cup 2009 series, there were few action points for our men in blue to work upon. Of course, most of these were suggested by our coach! But what caught the fancy of the entire nation was this particular suggestion of Kirsten to players.
Have good sex for enhanced performance on the cricket fields.....!!!!!!
While this comment has created frenzy across the length and breadth of the country for its titillating nature, it comes at a time when our team is working towards cementing its number one position in the ICC ODI ranking, having already secured it.
What amuses me is the way this suggestion has been made a part of the action points for the team. It’s been prescribed like a medicine dose that each member is supposed to have regularly, especially if the team has a match to play the next day.
Amongst those who have given a thumbs-up to this comment are few sexologists, who support the positive impact of a good sex life on other activities, taken up in the day; the non-supporters believe that this comment would weaken the moral fibre of the country by encouraging sex as a means to stay fit!
As, Kirsten argues......
Firstly, good sex boosts the morale of the individual and thereby would lead to good performance on the field, as it would raise the confidence and increase the efficiency level.
Firstly, good sex boosts the morale of the individual and thereby would lead to good performance on the field, as it would raise the confidence and increase the efficiency level.
(Mr. Kirsten, if this is true, then ever wondered what a bad sex performance would do to a player right before the match, or are you planning to take guarantee for good sex performance as well? )
(Mr. Kirsten, going by this, I am sure our Bhajji paji and Srishanth would have floored many pretty lasses. After all, no Indian player can match the aggression shown by these two controversy kings.)
Well leaving this analysis behind, what’s even more thought provoking is the fact that in a country where cricket creates mass hysteria and is followed like a religion, will such a statement not corrupt the minds of millions of young cricket fans who emulate our men in blue to an immeasurable extent? Mr. Kirsten might have been right in his intentions of suggesting a good sex life for the players, but the indirect impact could cause damage to the growing talent pool, which instead of focusing on the game might deviate to a path detrimental for the game. Time to do some serious thinking Mr. Kirsten!
As they say, bedroom secrets should be shared in a bedroom itself, and not made a part of the official dossier.
By now if you think that our head coach has leniently given an official nod to our team to indulge themselves in pleasure, you are wrong! Did I not tell you that Mr. Kirsten has said a strict no no to late night sex? Guess our players would have to be very vigilant while following a good sex mantra lest our coach comes and says time out….hee hee hee….
Make or Break – While our country debates on the sacrosanctity of this comment, I am sure some journalists would be prying to figure out whether team India has already started to follow this active advice of their coach or not.
In the meanwhile I would savour a cup of hot ginger tea to celebrate the pleasantly cold weather of Melbourne city amidst the hot news of our country!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Go Green...Xixi no Banho!
It might sound inscrutable, however this isn't some kind of a new language that I am struggling to learn and neither is it any kind of an alien environmental code. Weird as it sounds, this is what one of the environmental organisation SOS Mata Atlantica has to say "Xixi no Banho"...which means Pee in the shower!
Brazilians are synonymous with "hot" people worldwide....but next time when you meet them remember these are the people who are being encouraged to pee in their showers....for a very noble act (of which we indians are not habituated) of saving water! Interestingly this group believes that peeing in the shower would save few litres of water which gets wasted each time when we pee and flush,(to which i agree in entirety)...so to combat this loss of water, this group is running campaigns to encourage Brazilians to pee while taking bath and reduce the consumption of water...sounds perfect!!...isn't it??
I am sure the corollary of this campaign does not mean that, each time a person wants to pee, he/she should take a shower!...Ironic that it may sound,I am very certain that a shower would consume more water than a flush in the loo...or is this group expecting people to NOT to pee more than once in a day...of course they would be saving a lot of water this way, just that the whole lot of Brazilians might start suffering with the syndrome of inability to pee!.....or those who would fail in containing this urge might stealthily pee and not flush....Mere thought of it makes me shudder....Obnoxiously insane!!!
This whole idea might save thousands of litres of water, but I am not able to brush aside the thought of stench in the air with no flushing....Those of you, who fancy going to Brazil for an onsite project might want to do some serious re-thinking now...I am sure all of us would want to contribute in saving our beautiful planet, but why toy with ideas of this ilk and come up with such sickening fetid campaigns.There could be and (I am sure with so many intelligent people to research) there are better ideas to go green...
People, please do not quit flushing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to the Indian culture, while I am still trying to cope up with the concept of using tissue papers after emptying my bowels, not flushing will convert me into a infirm screwball for sure....unlike their saying "pee in the shower, save atlantics rain forest", I would prefer to say "Pee in the loo, flush all through.....use less water, save everyone's horror"....
Monday, June 8, 2009
Kiss and Tell....
Alright I will KISS !
Nearly all of us do it for pleasure, while the rest few do it on professional demands.
This isn't about the age old folklore of Ugly frog being kissed by a princess....although it would be quite interesting if kissing a frog could solve a major problem for millions of girls.
Nearly all of us do it for pleasure, while the rest few do it on professional demands.
This isn't about the age old folklore of Ugly frog being kissed by a princess....although it would be quite interesting if kissing a frog could solve a major problem for millions of girls.
Dearth of charming young men around ...?!?!?!?!
Normally, most of us are always in a hurry to finish the work we've been assigned ...but this gentleman from Germany seems to be in rush when most of us would like to follow the principle of slow and steady.....Hundred and Eleven kisses in mere sixty seconds...!!!!!!
This news is sure to turn many of you green with envy...after all who wouldn't want to kiss 111 women and get applauded and honored for it as well (for those of you raising eyebrows out there, this sentence was applicable only for female lovers)....couldn't have asked for more keeping your sanity around!!!
A lot of thinking and planning must have gone behind this...arranging for 111 women on a Friday night and convincing them for a quick peck is undeniably commendable. Maybe those of you who are still single and ready to mingle could take a leaf from this German Lad's kissing tales...
One person to jump in joy over this news would be Emraan Hashmi....our Indian Serial Kisser...Albeit not in 60 seconds, but Mr. Hashmi too might have breached the 111 mark by now...after all, he hasn't earned the title of Serial Kisser for nothing...Well, do not worry Mr. Hashmi. This German man has done it only once...for you there is no stopping…no competition...you can gladly sit on your kissing throne and keep raising the bar for the young generations and inspire the oldies for something better....I hear many chuckles around... ;)
Thanks to the numerous self proclaimed moral policing groups thriving well in our country, while it is virtually impossible for someone to muster courage of this level and create a world record in such acts in India, we surely can enjoy such records created else where....
All said and done, this record must definitely have been a treat for Michael Basting….statistically he kissed 2 women in one second…pheww!! That must have been lightning fast. Now that’s why people say “happiness lies in small things in life”.
With 111 kisses, Michael Basting has perfectly adhered to the principles of KISS...Keep It Short and Simple (What did u think when I said I will KISS ???...naughty naughty !!) … maybe Michael could try creating another record and rejuvenate some more principles for us!
Now stop being impish and learn to KISS…Thursday, May 7, 2009
Battle Against Accelerating Loyalty....
A country which has moved from bullock carts to satellites and rockets, snail trailed from silent movies to sci-fi blockbusters, metamorphosed from labor-intensive nation to computerized nation, given the world some of the most brilliant brains in the literary world, technology world, business world et al. still abodes people who think computerization is the route which is leading us into an abysmal pitch of problems!
It was much appalling to read the recent statement made by Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav "Let us put an end to any further computerization in this country".
Does he think that India has reached the acme of development and now is the time to turn the wheel of progress the other way round? Just the time when we are gaining foothold on the global scene, Mr. Minister wants to drag us down. Why not? After all who would be benefited the most when the citizens remain uneducated and unequipped for handling the massive work for the mammoth size population of our country! No prizes for guessing the answer.
Most of us would agree that the country in question has moved up the ladder of development and progressive phase. Sadly not all think so!
Mulayam Singh with his not so mulayam statements seems to be suffering with amnesia and ignorance, both at the same time!
Does he not know that this country, with hundreds of years of slavery and backwardness has been able to jostle ahead chiefly riding on the success waves of computerization?
Unemployment is an issue which has been the cause of concern for this nation for decades, but it would be utterly moronic to state that computerization has been the cause behind it. How about the ever growing population of this country? Did it ever occur to Mr. Singh that the monstrous population of this country could be a contributing factor in increasing the unemployment crisis? I guess not.
Just to remind Mr. Singh that he belongs to a state which stands the tallest in our country for its population…what an irony! Or maybe he is a staunch believer of a famous rural saying “as many people, so many hands to earn”. Alas! Mulayam Singh is unable to look at the number of mouths which need to be fed as well.
Maybe such piece of information only bites dust at his door step and never reaches his politicized ears.
Statements and views like this are quite alarming especially if they come from the top brass of a country like politicians and they do nothing but impel me to wonder about the orthodox and constricted vision being nurtured. Vocalizing such petty thoughts would do no good but expose the hollowness of the pillar on which our country has been creeping towards growth!
A sigh of relief prevails to see that the immoderate groups did not make a hill out of this mole, this time. On a lighter note while our minister is quite anti about the computerization, his own party has floated its website flaunting details about his family and the party! Mr. Mulayam Singh ji shouldn’t you be not using the computer for your campaigning based on your own statement? Or is your statement applicable only for the aam junta? Hail the rules of game...the game named politics.
While an answer to this question would be another twisted tale of stagnant thoughts and conceited behaviour, for me this whole situation is nothing more than a farcical moment of the Indian politics.
It was much appalling to read the recent statement made by Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav "Let us put an end to any further computerization in this country".
Does he think that India has reached the acme of development and now is the time to turn the wheel of progress the other way round? Just the time when we are gaining foothold on the global scene, Mr. Minister wants to drag us down. Why not? After all who would be benefited the most when the citizens remain uneducated and unequipped for handling the massive work for the mammoth size population of our country! No prizes for guessing the answer.
Most of us would agree that the country in question has moved up the ladder of development and progressive phase. Sadly not all think so!
Mulayam Singh with his not so mulayam statements seems to be suffering with amnesia and ignorance, both at the same time!
Does he not know that this country, with hundreds of years of slavery and backwardness has been able to jostle ahead chiefly riding on the success waves of computerization?
Unemployment is an issue which has been the cause of concern for this nation for decades, but it would be utterly moronic to state that computerization has been the cause behind it. How about the ever growing population of this country? Did it ever occur to Mr. Singh that the monstrous population of this country could be a contributing factor in increasing the unemployment crisis? I guess not.
Just to remind Mr. Singh that he belongs to a state which stands the tallest in our country for its population…what an irony! Or maybe he is a staunch believer of a famous rural saying “as many people, so many hands to earn”. Alas! Mulayam Singh is unable to look at the number of mouths which need to be fed as well.
Maybe such piece of information only bites dust at his door step and never reaches his politicized ears.
Statements and views like this are quite alarming especially if they come from the top brass of a country like politicians and they do nothing but impel me to wonder about the orthodox and constricted vision being nurtured. Vocalizing such petty thoughts would do no good but expose the hollowness of the pillar on which our country has been creeping towards growth!
A sigh of relief prevails to see that the immoderate groups did not make a hill out of this mole, this time. On a lighter note while our minister is quite anti about the computerization, his own party has floated its website flaunting details about his family and the party! Mr. Mulayam Singh ji shouldn’t you be not using the computer for your campaigning based on your own statement? Or is your statement applicable only for the aam junta? Hail the rules of game...the game named politics.
While an answer to this question would be another twisted tale of stagnant thoughts and conceited behaviour, for me this whole situation is nothing more than a farcical moment of the Indian politics.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
A DAY in my life!
Ah! What an incredible feeling it is to witness the dawn of a day…
It’s still dark outside and almost everybody in the country is rejoicing the pleasure of having a sound sleep.
What an ironical thing? While the world sleeps, I get ready to perform my tasks for the day. After all most the people cannot even begin their day without me.
So I set out to take a peek into people’s life and mark the beginning of their day!
Isn’t it a noble act? I give people a sense of getting connected to the world in a glance and rejuvenate their much pressurized day.
My itinerary kicks starts by taking a round of every door in my neighborhood, my locality, my city, my country….phew!!! Traveling is my passion and I have found many people who can pay me for living my passion. Ain’t I smart?
Okie…no boasting now…But you would have to spend a day with me for knowing “what makes my profession so fun-filled”.
After all I am also a professional (like you), and do my tasks with utmost sincerity (unlike you). Thank god! You are not a mind reader!!
Let’s go to some house first. Early morning this is best place to catch my client.
Bade Babu: As the name suggests, he is a big boss in some Desi MNC. For him morning starts early, but office has its turn only close to lunch time. Now that he is awake let me grab this opportuuuuuuuuuu….. Arre….where is he taking me along??
The door shuts and here I am with Bade Babu, all alone in this..uh..small room.
I am being scanned from top to bottom by Bade Babu. Now don’t even ask me what other $hit is happening here. As soon as Bade Babu opens the door and slams me on the ground, I rush out of this house before anything more disastrous can happen. (Could you pass on some tissues to me…sob...sob)
This client was definitely not a morning person!!
Let’s go to some office now. I hope to meet some pleasant client there.
So here we enter. Stop gapping and move ahead. It’s our country’s largest IT giant.
XYZ Technologies: You want to know the name. Well “what’s in name?” didn’t somebody say this?
This company’s biggest asset is its people (many of whom get the privilege of being on bench for 8 months!!) How do I know all this? Didn’t I tell you about my intelligence? My networking is stronger than the most intelligent person in the world. Arre bhai it’s a demand of my profession after all. Can’t take a risk, you see:-)
Le’me go to the library. Somebody would definitely come to see me there.
After a wait of 5 minutes, I see a young looking employee rushing towards the library. But hey, why is he hiding behind me? Oops... incidentally his PM (Project Manager) is also coming here and this young man, instead of being in his cubicle, must be dwindling his already zilch productivity. And so he thought of hiding behind me.
“Gosh…what a tiring day it has been.” You can feel that sadly, but I certainly love my trips…
It’s about 1pm now, so time to move out and meet my next client….
How about meeting some energy oozing college kids?
Vroooooooom…
Let’s see which story gets unfurled here.
Engineering College: The place of fun…for all and none!!
Welcome my dear friend. Yes, this is one place where fun prevails amidst all situations.
Be it exams, be it freshers’ party, be it farewell, be it PL….what engineers don’t forget is to laugh and to smile!!...so let me take you to a tour of this ever green stream of science.
One place which all students consider a must go is the Canteen.
Some eat, some rag…
Some meet and some brag…
This is the gist of happenings in a canteen. Also known as the Mecca of students, for reasons well known to you now!
Let me also take you for a visit to library…No we wouldn’t be seeing many kids studying there. In fact here is what you can also see apart from bookworms…Lovebirds.
On pretext of meeting me they often coo-chi-coo with their partners…and I get the honour of being an eye witness to their love deeds….Giggle…
Well, its dusk, so let’s meet one last client now.
How about going back to some house now? Not bad right…
So let’s barge in now….where?
Mr. & Mrs. Gupta: They’ve just returned from their offices (so I just sit quietly here).
Mr. Gupta finds me next to him so he picks me up and looks thru me to get reconnected to the world. After Mrs. Gutpa gets some tea, she picks me up as well and does the same. They discuss on some topic and get into an argument...the argument is turning louder and louder….bangggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!….Mr. Gupta slams the door and zooms out of the room. Thank God, for peace can prevail now.
Slowly it gets darker as the night gulps down the evening putting every soul back to sleep.
So, this was just a small glimpse of how my day goes by. I travel, listen to all gossips, witness all cozy moments, peek in your personal life, see you crying, hear you getting scolding, go to offices, got to restaurants…and all this with U ….Would you still ask me to change my profession?
Still wondering who I am…I am your NEWSPAPER, silly.
It’s still dark outside and almost everybody in the country is rejoicing the pleasure of having a sound sleep.
What an ironical thing? While the world sleeps, I get ready to perform my tasks for the day. After all most the people cannot even begin their day without me.
So I set out to take a peek into people’s life and mark the beginning of their day!
Isn’t it a noble act? I give people a sense of getting connected to the world in a glance and rejuvenate their much pressurized day.
My itinerary kicks starts by taking a round of every door in my neighborhood, my locality, my city, my country….phew!!! Traveling is my passion and I have found many people who can pay me for living my passion. Ain’t I smart?
Okie…no boasting now…But you would have to spend a day with me for knowing “what makes my profession so fun-filled”.
After all I am also a professional (like you), and do my tasks with utmost sincerity (unlike you). Thank god! You are not a mind reader!!
Let’s go to some house first. Early morning this is best place to catch my client.
Bade Babu: As the name suggests, he is a big boss in some Desi MNC. For him morning starts early, but office has its turn only close to lunch time. Now that he is awake let me grab this opportuuuuuuuuuu….. Arre….where is he taking me along??
The door shuts and here I am with Bade Babu, all alone in this..uh..small room.
I am being scanned from top to bottom by Bade Babu. Now don’t even ask me what other $hit is happening here. As soon as Bade Babu opens the door and slams me on the ground, I rush out of this house before anything more disastrous can happen. (Could you pass on some tissues to me…sob...sob)
This client was definitely not a morning person!!
Let’s go to some office now. I hope to meet some pleasant client there.
So here we enter. Stop gapping and move ahead. It’s our country’s largest IT giant.
XYZ Technologies: You want to know the name. Well “what’s in name?” didn’t somebody say this?
This company’s biggest asset is its people (many of whom get the privilege of being on bench for 8 months!!) How do I know all this? Didn’t I tell you about my intelligence? My networking is stronger than the most intelligent person in the world. Arre bhai it’s a demand of my profession after all. Can’t take a risk, you see:-)
Le’me go to the library. Somebody would definitely come to see me there.
After a wait of 5 minutes, I see a young looking employee rushing towards the library. But hey, why is he hiding behind me? Oops... incidentally his PM (Project Manager) is also coming here and this young man, instead of being in his cubicle, must be dwindling his already zilch productivity. And so he thought of hiding behind me.
“Gosh…what a tiring day it has been.” You can feel that sadly, but I certainly love my trips…
It’s about 1pm now, so time to move out and meet my next client….
How about meeting some energy oozing college kids?
Vroooooooom…
Let’s see which story gets unfurled here.
Engineering College: The place of fun…for all and none!!
Welcome my dear friend. Yes, this is one place where fun prevails amidst all situations.
Be it exams, be it freshers’ party, be it farewell, be it PL….what engineers don’t forget is to laugh and to smile!!...so let me take you to a tour of this ever green stream of science.
One place which all students consider a must go is the Canteen.
Some eat, some rag…
Some meet and some brag…
This is the gist of happenings in a canteen. Also known as the Mecca of students, for reasons well known to you now!
Let me also take you for a visit to library…No we wouldn’t be seeing many kids studying there. In fact here is what you can also see apart from bookworms…Lovebirds.
On pretext of meeting me they often coo-chi-coo with their partners…and I get the honour of being an eye witness to their love deeds….Giggle…
Well, its dusk, so let’s meet one last client now.
How about going back to some house now? Not bad right…
So let’s barge in now….where?
Mr. & Mrs. Gupta: They’ve just returned from their offices (so I just sit quietly here).
Mr. Gupta finds me next to him so he picks me up and looks thru me to get reconnected to the world. After Mrs. Gutpa gets some tea, she picks me up as well and does the same. They discuss on some topic and get into an argument...the argument is turning louder and louder….bangggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!….Mr. Gupta slams the door and zooms out of the room. Thank God, for peace can prevail now.
Slowly it gets darker as the night gulps down the evening putting every soul back to sleep.
So, this was just a small glimpse of how my day goes by. I travel, listen to all gossips, witness all cozy moments, peek in your personal life, see you crying, hear you getting scolding, go to offices, got to restaurants…and all this with U ….Would you still ask me to change my profession?
Still wondering who I am…I am your NEWSPAPER, silly.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Maya ki Maya
Well, well, well…..the cat is out of the bag now.
Everybody inland (and maybe even abroad) knows that India isn't that poor a country what we are made to believe!
So this is extremely good news for our denizens…right?
Let's find out what (or who) makes our country so rich and wealthy overnight.
The latest news rife in the country is "Maya grew 400% richer in 3 years " (reported by ToI).
For those of you who abhor current affairs, Maya isn't any bollywood filmstar, or a recipient of much envied family heritage. Neither is she the new face of KBC or Indian Idol. Then who is she??
She is one of our politicians and the current CM of UP, better known as "India's Dalit icon".
Mayawati has recently declared assets worth over Rs. 52 crore, according to an affidavit filed by her for nominatios for vidhan sabha.
And mind you, all this just in a span of three years!
Absolutely Amazing…how I wish I could know the secret behind minting so much of money in mere 3 years…common man of India nurtures this dream every day. Alas, this dream fades away every morning and the common man is left to the amusements of his life.
There's more to this truth. Mayawati is just a burgeoning spawn amongst politicians. The bigwigs of political arena are touted to be valued at Rs 500 crore each!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ever wondered how these politicians manage to accumulate so much of wealth. After all they are also in the government jobs like millions of us and earn not more than few grands each month. Maybe not.
Politicians have always thronged the news channels for reasons, right or wrong. They have become the perennial flavour of our society, of course not by our choice. Either they are opposing something good which the opposition party is doing, or they are creating waves by being scammers.
Over a period of observations, I have done my own analysis on these politicians and have come to a corollary: more the number of scams, a politician is involved in, higher would be his/her wealth.
It also reminds me of Newton's third law of motion: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Our politicians seem to be obeying this rule diligently. Be it Laloo, Mayawati, or Jayalalitha and Chandrababu Naidu, all have been equally zealous in one thing- amassing wealth.
They sure can divulge authenticate modus operandi behind this.
For the good work they do being in power, they tend to develop untold bhakts (followers). But these bhakts also can not raise so much of money overnight.
So what's the secret behind this?
One option which comes to my mind is that probably politics is a very lucrative field to be in. No wonder the story of "rags to riches" is seen here more often than anywhere else.
If this is so, why were the politicians from older era weren't so rich?
Maybe, this option also gets ruled out now.
I feel having got caught in the vortex of "Maya ki Maya".
The more I try to brush this news away from my mind, the more I get intrigued by it. Somebody has to demystify this and let the common man know the formula for sudden richness. Only if wishes were horses, we would have had all the truth naked, before us.
Well, this could very well turn out to be a "Pandora's box". Then moment you remove the lid, all problems would start flying around.
So what do we do now?
For the moment, let's leave this buried formula of "Maya ki Maya" suspense and pray to God that some day, some body would have enough pluck to question these politicians on their face, and dig out the truth for us.
Till then let's continue to bask in the glory of our own richness-albeit only in dreams!
Everybody inland (and maybe even abroad) knows that India isn't that poor a country what we are made to believe!
So this is extremely good news for our denizens…right?
Let's find out what (or who) makes our country so rich and wealthy overnight.
The latest news rife in the country is "Maya grew 400% richer in 3 years " (reported by ToI).
For those of you who abhor current affairs, Maya isn't any bollywood filmstar, or a recipient of much envied family heritage. Neither is she the new face of KBC or Indian Idol. Then who is she??
She is one of our politicians and the current CM of UP, better known as "India's Dalit icon".
Mayawati has recently declared assets worth over Rs. 52 crore, according to an affidavit filed by her for nominatios for vidhan sabha.
And mind you, all this just in a span of three years!
Absolutely Amazing…how I wish I could know the secret behind minting so much of money in mere 3 years…common man of India nurtures this dream every day. Alas, this dream fades away every morning and the common man is left to the amusements of his life.
There's more to this truth. Mayawati is just a burgeoning spawn amongst politicians. The bigwigs of political arena are touted to be valued at Rs 500 crore each!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ever wondered how these politicians manage to accumulate so much of wealth. After all they are also in the government jobs like millions of us and earn not more than few grands each month. Maybe not.
Politicians have always thronged the news channels for reasons, right or wrong. They have become the perennial flavour of our society, of course not by our choice. Either they are opposing something good which the opposition party is doing, or they are creating waves by being scammers.
Over a period of observations, I have done my own analysis on these politicians and have come to a corollary: more the number of scams, a politician is involved in, higher would be his/her wealth.
It also reminds me of Newton's third law of motion: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Our politicians seem to be obeying this rule diligently. Be it Laloo, Mayawati, or Jayalalitha and Chandrababu Naidu, all have been equally zealous in one thing- amassing wealth.
They sure can divulge authenticate modus operandi behind this.
For the good work they do being in power, they tend to develop untold bhakts (followers). But these bhakts also can not raise so much of money overnight.
So what's the secret behind this?
One option which comes to my mind is that probably politics is a very lucrative field to be in. No wonder the story of "rags to riches" is seen here more often than anywhere else.
If this is so, why were the politicians from older era weren't so rich?
Maybe, this option also gets ruled out now.
I feel having got caught in the vortex of "Maya ki Maya".
The more I try to brush this news away from my mind, the more I get intrigued by it. Somebody has to demystify this and let the common man know the formula for sudden richness. Only if wishes were horses, we would have had all the truth naked, before us.
Well, this could very well turn out to be a "Pandora's box". Then moment you remove the lid, all problems would start flying around.
So what do we do now?
For the moment, let's leave this buried formula of "Maya ki Maya" suspense and pray to God that some day, some body would have enough pluck to question these politicians on their face, and dig out the truth for us.
Till then let's continue to bask in the glory of our own richness-albeit only in dreams!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Structured Query (Language)???
"Develop your SQ", were the words of wisdom from my boss to me. It sounded too familiar to me, but still couldn't decode what he meant by SQ.
Perhaps it's some kind of a new computer language or a new tool which is being used by my company. Maybe my boss forgot that its SQL and not SQ !
The age old existing languages still appear Greek and Latin to me, leave alone fathoming the new in this field .
Luckily I did not vocalize my thoughts and buried them in some grey cells in my brain.
"Aweready (accented version of alright), then. See ya on Monday. Think over how you would achieve your SQ." My boss told me. He was foreign returned and always made a point to reflect that thru his accent.
"Sure sir". I had no option but to make him feel that he was very clear in defining his requirements to me.
"Have a nice weekend. See you on Monday" said my boss and zoomed out of the office.
Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I heaved a sigh of relief.
The thought of weekend had blinded me towards everything else, so I pushed that stupid sounding SQ out of mind for a while.
I packed my bag hurriedly and dashed out of the office. This was only after ensuring that my boss had left.
After reaching home I collapsed on the bed, as if I had returned from a war.
I prepared a cup of hot ginger tea and made myself comfortable on my bed with today's newspaper. I was feeling very relaxed now. Don't know whether it was the ginger tea effect or the feeling of weekend. Whatever it was I was feeling calm and soothing.
As I was flipping the pages of the paper, my eyes fell on an article in the editorial section (my favorite section). It read "Leaders and Quotients".
I started to read and found it very engrossing till I came to a point where they had mentioned about various quotients like Intelligence, emotional and Spiritual……………..that means IQ, EQ and SQ.
Here I got a shocker. So was this the SQ, my dearest boss was referring to?
Spiritual Quotient.
Now who on earth invented this and why do I need to develop it?
I considered myself fairly intelligent enough to understand above average complexities in my projects. I said "above average". This bars geeky, rote, telegraphic representations of several computer languages.
Anyway, now that I knew what SQ stood for, I thought of knowing about it and the ways to develop it.
The news paper said SQ is the capability to look beyond (what?). Trying to understand the purpose of life and the best way to serve the distressed are qualities that are found normally in a mother who understands the needs of her children.
I wonder something which sounds so complicated would be how complicated to implement.
Being able to understand and exhibit high IQ and EQ were a challenge in themselves and now we are further being burdened with this concept of SQ.
How I wish at this moment, that all researchers could be put for hibernation till eternity. One day they come up with some study saying that eating XYZ is good for your health, as it would lower your risk of getting a heart attack. Other day some other study would reveal that the same XYZ would cause problems to a particular body part if consumed in excess.
This reminded me of old Tomato ketchup advertisement where a villain had tied up the hero and ordered his henchmen saying "Isko liquid nitrogen me dal do…nitrogen isko jeene nahin dega aur oxygen isko marne nahin dega…"
I felt comparable to that hero in the advertisement. These researchers would not let you die nor would they let you live.
Nevertheless, I still had to grapple to understand this concept.
I brushed aside all thoughts from my mind and sat down with the paper which said
"Spiritual intelligence touches the heart, mind and the spirit. When a leader develops high degree of spiritual intelligence the organization will definitely excel………"
Perhaps it's some kind of a new computer language or a new tool which is being used by my company. Maybe my boss forgot that its SQL and not SQ !
The age old existing languages still appear Greek and Latin to me, leave alone fathoming the new in this field .
Luckily I did not vocalize my thoughts and buried them in some grey cells in my brain.
"Aweready (accented version of alright), then. See ya on Monday. Think over how you would achieve your SQ." My boss told me. He was foreign returned and always made a point to reflect that thru his accent.
"Sure sir". I had no option but to make him feel that he was very clear in defining his requirements to me.
"Have a nice weekend. See you on Monday" said my boss and zoomed out of the office.
Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I heaved a sigh of relief.
The thought of weekend had blinded me towards everything else, so I pushed that stupid sounding SQ out of mind for a while.
I packed my bag hurriedly and dashed out of the office. This was only after ensuring that my boss had left.
After reaching home I collapsed on the bed, as if I had returned from a war.
I prepared a cup of hot ginger tea and made myself comfortable on my bed with today's newspaper. I was feeling very relaxed now. Don't know whether it was the ginger tea effect or the feeling of weekend. Whatever it was I was feeling calm and soothing.
As I was flipping the pages of the paper, my eyes fell on an article in the editorial section (my favorite section). It read "Leaders and Quotients".
I started to read and found it very engrossing till I came to a point where they had mentioned about various quotients like Intelligence, emotional and Spiritual……………..that means IQ, EQ and SQ.
Here I got a shocker. So was this the SQ, my dearest boss was referring to?
Spiritual Quotient.
Now who on earth invented this and why do I need to develop it?
I considered myself fairly intelligent enough to understand above average complexities in my projects. I said "above average". This bars geeky, rote, telegraphic representations of several computer languages.
Anyway, now that I knew what SQ stood for, I thought of knowing about it and the ways to develop it.
The news paper said SQ is the capability to look beyond (what?). Trying to understand the purpose of life and the best way to serve the distressed are qualities that are found normally in a mother who understands the needs of her children.
I wonder something which sounds so complicated would be how complicated to implement.
Being able to understand and exhibit high IQ and EQ were a challenge in themselves and now we are further being burdened with this concept of SQ.
How I wish at this moment, that all researchers could be put for hibernation till eternity. One day they come up with some study saying that eating XYZ is good for your health, as it would lower your risk of getting a heart attack. Other day some other study would reveal that the same XYZ would cause problems to a particular body part if consumed in excess.
This reminded me of old Tomato ketchup advertisement where a villain had tied up the hero and ordered his henchmen saying "Isko liquid nitrogen me dal do…nitrogen isko jeene nahin dega aur oxygen isko marne nahin dega…"
I felt comparable to that hero in the advertisement. These researchers would not let you die nor would they let you live.
Nevertheless, I still had to grapple to understand this concept.
I brushed aside all thoughts from my mind and sat down with the paper which said
"Spiritual intelligence touches the heart, mind and the spirit. When a leader develops high degree of spiritual intelligence the organization will definitely excel………"
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