Ishq KAMEENA! Censor KAMEENI?

Enough is one word, which this lass has not found in her version of dictionary. Or maybe she has got it surgically removed from the dictionary, while undergoing one herself. Bold, beautiful and totally bohemian. This girl has always spoken her mind (even if that meant gibberish?!?!?!). The thought of right or wrong has probably never bothered her as much as not being in limelight would have strained her brain. She shares a love-all relationship with the media. While the media loves her for providing them with juicy details every now and then, she loves the media for keeping her in the main headlines (Trust me folks, this particular news was flashed on the front page of ToI online edition). Come on, you should have guessed he name by now. The mother of all controversies – Rakhi Sawant!

Be it dancing her way through the controversies or been kissed through the controversies, Rakhi has done it all. She has added a new feather to her cap by taking punga, this time with the censor board. She has allegedly created ballyhoo over censor board’s running a scissor over the usage of word “kameeni” in her forthcoming album titled Jhagda. I must say, what a title and what a word to fight for. Who else can manage to come out with such names, which are provocative and not up to the snuff, other than our Queen of item numbers? Guess, when it comes to Ms. Sawant, all becomes fair! Looks like using foul languages and slangs have become the latest fad in the Indian film industry, and Rakhi definitely does not wish to remain untouched by it. Nevertheless, this time Rakhi Sawant has blamed the censor board for meting out step motherly treatment to her, by censoring the word “Kameeni” in her music album, while letting go the biggies of bollywood, even though they have been using similar words in the past. Ms. Sawant has even given censor board committee a week’s time to lift the ban, after which she would sit on a bhook hadtal.

Non-violence at it’s best, I must say. Gandhiji must have never thought that his tools would be so rampantly used in the modern Indian from netas to the celebs, albeit for frivolous issues.

If we divert our attention from the affectations of this great éclat, it would be quite interesting to note that Rakhi Sawant is actually (surprisingly) posing a right question to the censor board. Startling that it may sound, the recent success (both critical and commercial) of “Kaminey” movie does make one wonder if the censor board is being biased. Censor board equally enjoyed the movie, while permitting the usage of a slang word as a title. We have literally lived our childhoods listening to the famous dialogue of Dharmendra “Kaminey main tera khoon pee jaung”. Never have we heard censor board running its scissor on such dialogues or titles. So what is the big deal about Rakhi Sawant using the same word in her song? Lets see, what plausible reasons can censor board come up with, to justify its stand.

a)     Kameeni is more derogatory than Kaminey – Is it because it addresses to fairer section of our society? If that’s true, then what about the numerous “Ma..Bahen..” gaalis being mouthed in the Indian cinemas, more often now than before?

b)    Rakhi Sawant using that word is more derogatory – She still is better than our ex-PM Mr. H.D. Deve Gowda who verbally raped B.S. Yeddyurappa after one parliamentary session, just few days ago.

c)     WTF!!!! Rakhi paid us to censor that word – You know why  :) .. Birth of a new controversy.

Knowing Rakhi Sawant, it is not difficult to gesticulate that her album would be centrally and peripherally revolving around titillating and sensuous acts.

So be it. Censor board has not objected to those things. Whatever be the reason behind this new drama, do you think it is high time that censor board becomes more transparent in its functioning, and less prejudice towards the low brows of the filmdom? Or do you think that Rakhi Sawant is barking up the wrong tree by putting up this fight?

IPL - India Pakistan Ladaai?

While the whole world has been complaining about the change in climate due to global warming, it is hard for me to not notice the very obvious change in the seasons of India. In our country, we celebrate four main seasons with zest – winter, summer, rainy and spring. However, past two years, this festivity has embraced a new season. A season of cricket. A season of IPL. The India Premier League has caught many eyeballs since its days of inception and continues to drive the world of sports, into a historic frenzy each year. IPL gave birth to another star in the galaxy of cricket, albeit not on the field but off the field. Lalit Modi – The founder of Indian Premier League.

In its maiden year (2008), IPL embarked upon its journey with a debate on whether the 20-20 pattern is a flash in a pan or a long lasting phenomenon. In the ensuing year, it kicked off a row of arguments when its venue was shifted from India to South Africa. Despite public apprehensions, IPL managed to generate highest TRPs amongst all other sports at that time and catapulted the status of IPL ceremonies only second to Olympics. It continued to grow bigger and better each time. Glamour and fortune have surrendered themselves to the feet and fate of IPL. It wouldn’t be wrong to call IPL, a controversies’ child. No wonder, even amidst many controversies the popularity of IPL has not seen a dip. As they say, any publicity is a good publicity. And so the IPL enters into its third year. With this month seeing the auctioning of players, the controversies have again draped IPL 3 in it.

The latest news to rock the auctioning procedure of IPL is the total outcaste of Pakistani players. While all the eight IPL teams have lapped up the best players for themselves, none showed interest in bidding for a single Pak player. Media is abuzz with gamut of reasons behind this news. Be it straining Indo-Pak ties, an embargo by the Indian government or a mutual seclusion of Pak players by the IPL franchisees, speculations are rife.

With zillions of money and security of nation on stake, the Indian government and the IPL organizers appear in no mood to take risks, if there are any risks at all. There are too many arguments for and against this move, and it is almost a herculean task to justify any side with little or no information on it. The whole episode appears very tacky when one looks at the past attitude (initiation and tolerance) of India over Pakistan. However even the Indian government has very little options to choose from when Pakistan believes in non-cooperation tactics. With the recent terror attacks on India, the government has to be extra vigilant to ensure such tragedies do not hit the lives of millions of innocent people. The stance may be harsh this time, but sometimes harshness acts better than friendliness, especially when one’s own people are in danger.

I know.. I know.. common man of both these countries wants peace! But, hello! How would peace prevail when so much of hatred and fanaticism is blinding the visions of deciding powers? Anyway, before I digress into politics once again, let me focus back on the IPL.

If rumors are to be believed then the cable operators in Pakistan might boycott telecast of the IPL matches this year. An act of solidarity, fair enough! I am not even surprised at this rumor. Tit-for-tat has been their age-old technique. Grow up!

Had the Pakistani players being included in the IPL teams, no dramatic progress would have been achieved on the India-Pak relationship. When sixty years of efforts from our various governments couldn’t thaw the ice between the nations at loggerheads, I wonder what good this little inclusion would have done? Maybe, it might have not added more bitterness to the already dissolving ties. But who can guarantee that? I am not writing this blog to justify the acts of IPL bodies or the Indian government. I only intend to enjoy IPL 3. Right or wrong, good or bad, IPL still promises to enthrall its viewers like in the past. We all had thought, that shifting of IPL to South Africa would significantly reduce the viewership of IPL in India, but to everyone surprise, the enthusiasm was way beyond the IPL season 1. Haven’t we heard that everything is fair in love and war? This however is Cricket ;)

I am just being an optimist fan this time as well. Pak or no Pak, IPL season is bound to cause hysteria across the length and breadth of the nation. Like all other times, IPL 3 promises of more fun, more excitement, more glamour and more surprises in the months to come. So while the two nations indulge themselves in further ego clashes, being a cricket fan I am looking forward for a spectacular and undeniable adventure saga. Let the game begin roger err.. Modi :) 


...and yes!.. keep watching this space for more updates on the IPL 3 grapevines :D

the Good, the Bad and the Ugly!

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James


I couldn't have agreed more with this thought, than now. Twenty days of procrastination and wrestling with gravity from hundreds of feet above the tiny dots and blocks, could also not make it happen. It happened when boredom got the better of procrastination and jostled the writer out of my New Zealand hangover. So here is the outcome. A mix of fun and pun for you!


Moments of shocks, seconds of sadness, minutes of laughter, hours of smiles and days of emotions! Human being is a unique specie who is known for its expressions of emotions. It is quite amusing how our brain identifies certain things with certain images and tunes our emotions towards them accordingly. And, if the human being in front of us is a politician then he/she is bound to evoke one or the other form of emotion within us…!


Love them or hate them, but you can’t ignore them. Indian politicians have an indelible impact on the minds of millions of their countrymen. These politicians are often known for their unique traits and idiosyncrasies, many of which have been spoken and written about in media, time and again. But ever wondered what will happen if these politicians had to endorse different brands and products for our aam junta ? Who knows, apart from experiencing the usual fits of laughter maybe the Indian film industry could also get lucky and get its new onscreen sensation ……


Well, well, well! Let’s take a quick look at who would fit into what brand, if the politics and advertising alliance were ever to happen.


1. Peter England – The Honest shirt!
He is suave and perceptive and the most non-political prime minister of India till date. The current PM of India and the architect of the modern Indian economic framework, Manmohan Singh is quite known for his Squeaky Clean image and Honesty even in these days. He would totally justify the punch line of Peter England – The Honest Shirt! Like PE shirts, Manmohan Singh has also made truth fashionable, albeit in Indian politics.


2. MTV - Some People Just Don't Get It
Better known for his humor and looks, Laloo Prasad Yadav stands unbeaten as the brand ambassador for MTV channel. His wacky statements and bold approaches have often left Indian public in splits. Everything about him is hatke. Laloo displays the flavor of MTV in the best of his forms. He changed the fate of Indian railways and made it profitable like how he turned his public image from mercenary corrupt politician to a funny man of Indian politics. If it is loud and grungy evocation of aggressive spirit, it is MTV or it is Laloo Prasad Yadav. Both think they are cool. Both think they are the voice of India. (Both don't get it!). While all that both manage to do is rant about themselves, day in and day out! So, Lalooji, you rightfully deserve to endorse the MTV brand for our aam junta.


3. J K Tyre – Total Control
This politician is the best example of tenacity and breaking efficiency on the highly rugged roads of Indian politics. Soniya Gandhi - Italy born Indian politician, who has managed to not only survive but also rule the rooster of the present Indian politics. Like J K tyres, she exercises Total Control over the Congress party and the UPA government. Can you find a better brand ambassador than her?


4. Tata Tea – Jago Re!
This is one politician who bags Tata tea advertisement assignment unrivalled. His love for sleep has transcended the decorum of the coveted seats of Indian political arena. He has churned out more news due to his undying passion for sleep than his work as a politician. He made lethargy and foul language synonymous with the Indian politics. Need I say more? No prizes for guessing this septuagenarian’s name - HD Deve Gowda. Very conveniently he blames stress as the reason for hurling abuses and frequent dozing off in public. Tata Tea would not be able to find a better harbinger than Deve Gowda, albeit as an ideal target audience for this ad due to his acts - a la Kumbhkarn! He needs awakening from his apathy towards people who have elected him. So, Mr Gowda, please have a cuppa of Tata Tea every morning and do what you have been elected for doing – transform lives!


5. Nokia - Connecting People,  Pepsi - Yeh hai Youngistan Meri Jaan
Versatile, dynamic, a people's person, rejuvenator of Indian politics and an apostle of strong India, young India. He has pumped hope in the hearts of millions of Indians and bound them under a belief of "Young India is the progressing India". Rahul Gandhi is the name, which instantly crops up in the mind when one hears words like integrating with people and young India. He comfortably dons the hat of a common man to share his sorrows and instill in him optimism for the future. His charming words have motivated the youth, pan India. He has managed to establish himself as the next generations political hope of our country. Truly wearing his attitude on his sleeves, Rahul Gandhi reflects the spirits of Nokia and Pepsi. Do we have any other politician to match his enigmatic charisma? Do I hear none?


6. Surf Excel - Daag Achche Hote Hai!
If Paradox is her first name, uncouth is her middle name. She placed herself as a paladin of the lower caste and down trodden people in the Indian politics. But no sooner than later, she amassed wealth worth million of rupees. She is one amongst the highest IT paying politicians of our country. She belongs to a breed of "Been there, done that" politicians. You think of a scam in the decade gone by and bam she is associated with it. Mayawati, the Behenji of Indian Politics is a recurrent participant of numerous flimflams and seldom practitioner of serving nation. She imbibes the slogan of surf excel to the core - Daag Achche Hote Hai - No wonder she is valiantly marching towards eating away people's money and blissfully enjoying her daag each time. It’s amazing to see how shamelessly she denies the allegations leveled against her every single time. Mayawati is definitely the best choice of sample for Surf Excel to showcase its cleansing might. Go Surf Excel, Go!


7. Horlicks – Taller, Stronger, Sharper
There are a few names, which I am able to associate with the Horlicks drink, but one-name blocks my vision entirely (and literally too!). When it comes to growth (of any kind), this single person beats one and all. Be it physically, materialistically or in the power game, this politician has grown astronomically taller, stronger and sharper. Enjoying the adulations of both the film world and politics, she has ascertained her position as a dominating power monger politician who cannot be ignored. Jayalalithaa Jayaram or simply Amma – the actor politico of Tamil Nadu. From being a paramour of MGR she has grown to become the goddess of Tamil Nadu. Her haughty demeanor and arrogant attitude have only multiplied with time. Metamorphosing from a slim, glamorous actress into portly body and an elephantine stature, she comes out as the perfect choice for promoting the Taller, Stronger and Sharper qualities of Horlicks.


Good, bad or ugly, brands and politicians are mushrooming with equal zest in our country. I wonder what we are witnessing now is bad or ugly? The chances of it being good is bleak and scary too. Nevertheless I am confident that this saga will keep evolving with time and provide platform for some more ludicrous moments of political whimsy to the aam junta.Till then let's enjoy this tale with our good, bad and ugly politicians.


Oh, btw, Happy New Year to all :)